Learning to trust again
I feel like the biggest asset as much as hinderance that I have is trust. I feel as though I have been hurt so much by so many people close to me that i fail to trust people i ought. Which makes me so sad, but i also feel 150% justified. Its so hard to work through. My partner has pantiently waded though my mind with me over the years & I feel blessed beyond measure to have them in my life.
Sometimes I dont like talking about my life cause people liken it to something like the real life version of the Searies of Unfortunate Events written by Limony Snicket.
I think thats enough for now. Im thinking too much.
So its been a few days and here i am.
I have learned that I have MANY more skills for coping than i thought, and they are pretty healthy.
I am going to list things i am grateful for today because i woke up in a good mood and i am trying to keep that going.
-Tea
-Happy music, with a positive message.
-deep breaths
-Knowing i have lived this long through so much.
-finding and enjoying the joy i can.
-Roller Skating!
time for work
I feel like this site has so many souls in need.
I have been learning so much about humans and compassion.
It is also helping me try to exercise compassion more for others.
This week i tried to exercise compassion for my boss, it went ok but she really seems to prefer just to not be around me. Regardless my self care thing was to just focus on doing my best work and not worry unless she interacts with me and then i exercise compassion.
I also noticed this week in parenting i was more able to control my short temper and not blow up. I had a moment this week where i remembered to take a breath and think before responding and completely subverted my temper for a more calm and positive response.
It made me SO HAPPY.
I wish i knew what else to write.
Oh well celebrate small victories.
