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I think I was raped

lovelypomelo March 8th, 2020

Recently I have been getting flashbacks of something that happened a long time ago more than 15 years ago... but it seems like it was recent ... I remember i had been drinking with my then boyfriend we were out and he said we should go back to his parents house... we were in the garage or some room with sports equipment ... i can remember him pushing me against something and I could not move.. I am sure he grabbed my arms forcefully and he raped me... I didn't think it was rape at the time as we were dating and we had been drinking ... but this image it has only recently started ... as I am trying to heal myself from past relationships and that relationship was very abusive ... it had and still has an impact on me ...

I dont know how to heal from this

Thank you for reading

7
MythologicalMayhem March 14th, 2020

@lovelypomelo

I'm sorry that happened. :(

I also repressed a memory from an abusive ex partner. I don't know how to heal from this because I can't bring myself to tell anyone, I guess due to shame and embarrassment. I think learning to realise it's not your fault and that what they did was wrong, is a good first step.

Definitely speak to a therapist if you can.

1 reply
lovelypomelo OP March 15th, 2020

@MythologicalMayhem yes you are right you need to tell yourself that the abuse was not your fault ... I have felt ashamed before from another abusive ex boyfriend.. I am sorry that you are suffering also. Talking to someone else can really help. You take care and keep being strong

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Oceanwaves16 March 20th, 2020

@lovelypomelo No matter how long ago it was and if you were drinking, in a relationship or anything else, rape is rape. and its not okay. we are here for you :)