It happened years ago, so why am I still angry?

The first time I was molested, I wasn't even in preschool. Both my parents worked, and none of our family would watch my little sister and I, so our mom left us with one of her friends. She had 2 kids- a boy around my age and a girl my sister's age. We were all playing and he said he had a toy he wanted to share with me, but only if I went to his parents room with him to get it. Being a stupid, naive, innocent child, I followed. I sat on the bed watching Jimmy Neutron while he looked for the toy. He eventually found it and said he'd only let me play with it if I took my clothes off and kissed him. I was confused and said no. He insisted, and even said he'd be ok with me just taking my shirt off and hugging him, but again I said no. He got between me and the door and tried to take my shirt off, but I punched him and ran. When my mom picked us up, she didn't believe me and the boy's mom called me a devil child and said to stay away.

I wish that would've been the last time. I wish it had never even happened. Over the years, I was molested time and time again, and time and time again, nobody believed me. Now, I can barely let people hug me, and then only if we're good friends. I can't even kiss my boyfriend without freezing up or be intimate without every fiber of my being screaming for me to fight, scream, get out. He's wonderful, sweet, and supportive and tries to take away the hurt, but there is no hurt. I'm just so angry that I was never able to stop it, or truly hurt them. 1/2