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I feel like I should be over it by now

OmegaWolf80 June 5th, 2020

TRIGGER WARNING

It's been 3 years since my abuse. I wasn't raped or threatened, but I was repeatedly groped every day by a classmate for a month. I think I'm still carrying regrets, I only told to stop the assault, and I stood up for my abuser saying "maybe it was only an accident." Of course, saying that, he didn't get into trouble. I knew that was a lie, I knew he knew what he was doing because he always did it discreetly. Now I live in fear that my failure to stand up for myself is going to cause him to hurt other girls worse than he hurt me, I feel like someone is going to get raped and it will be my fault because I didn't warn people about him. It's something I don't have control over because I am no longer in touch with anyone where I was assaulted, and I know that. But it still bothers me sometimes. (I was diagnosed with PTSD before I was assaulted and this made it worse, but since I have recovered that I don't think I qualify for PTSD anymore. It still worries me sometimes though)

3
Willow99e June 7th, 2020

@OmegaWolf80

1 reply
Willow99e June 7th, 2020

@Willow99e I am so sorry this happened to you. One thing i have learnt about trauma is that everyone's is different, and everyone's is valid. NEVER compair your truama to someone else and "downgrade" what happened to you. You went through somthing traumatic, and you are allowed to feel hurt, violated, scared, upset, angry.....ect.

You are not to blame in any of this, and recovery takes a lot of time. Most people never actualy "get over" their trauma, and poof it goes away; instead they learn how to manage it and integrate it into their lives. There are LOTS of books online about trauma and how it effects the mind and body, try and do some research and pick up a few books to educate yourself on what is going on for you! You are strong. MEssege me if you need to

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Willow99e June 7th, 2020

@OmegaWolf80