How can I stato with people?
Hello. I'm a victim of abuse. Since I was 7 an uncle abused me for years. Nobody knows (not my family), only some close friends.
The point Is....I've never have a boyfriend because everytime a boy get close to me I'm "scared". I don't talk about phisically close. I talk about a boy who start talk with me and I understad he want to be my boyfriend. Even if I like a boy, I run away from his feeling.
I'm so ashamed for this...I get underpressure about the time we must have "intimacy". I Wish do something with a boy but when I relize It can happen for real, I'm scared. I stop to talk with him, I don't go out with him anymore...and I never say that to one of this Boys.
They are not bad Persons. They are sweet and kind. And I know they will wait and understand my fears. But, when I come emotionally close to a boy, my brain turn off and I get really mad with myself and run away. I'm so tired of this.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that and still experience the consequences of it.
I think the first step might be to let go of the shame you're feeling around this and to be kind to yourself when this happens. It was not your fault it happened and it is not your fault you're still struggling afterwards. Many more people have gone through the same thing and there is no time limit in which you must have been intimate with someone so there's no need to feel ashamed or pressured. (I too have never been in a romantic relationship, if that helps.)
I understand it's frustrating and tiring, but the relationship you have with yourself is the most important and maybe building your self-confidence will also help with getting into relationships with others.