14

I was a freshman in high school who felt lost. I was unofficially dating a guy named Jim. He was 26. We had sex the day after we met, I was drunk, he was stoned. It went on for about a month, I thought I loved him. One day the police showed up at his door wanting to talk to me, all I kept thinking was that something happened to my dad. Once we got to the police station they started asking me questions about Jim and said they knew that we were sleeping together. I broke down and just lost it. My father turned me in without even knowing if it was true. My mother told me that I ruined Jim and all of his family's lives. I had no one to go to that wasn't making me feel even worse. The entire school knew. I strayed away from everything. Now I'm 22 , Jim has been out of jail for 5 years and I'm still haunted by everything that's happened. I haven't slept with anyone since and don't expect to in the future because I know that I'll be looking over my shoulder the entire time and just waiting for the cops to show up to arrest them. I don't know what to do. I want a relationship at some point in my life and I know that sex is usually a part of relationships but I'm too afraid.