tw-> emotional abuse by partner and sexual harassment

i have relatively been doing decent for the past few weeks, possibly months. i’ve been able to wake up and not have the first thing that crosses my mind be the person who inflicted emotional abuse on me. but today was different, i dreamt. i wouldn’t ever imagine i would dream of this person again considering i thought i was over it. it’s been a year and a little over a month since i left that relationship. this person lied about everything for 8+ months and manipulated me, yet he was the first person i genuinely fell in love with and so far the only one. it is too complicated to go in depth, and i’m not that comfortable yet to explain it. but i dreamt of him, it was like i knew everything he did to me but i still wanted him and i flirted and flirted and he did the same. the dream was not a nightmare, but when i woke up i felt horrible. i sat in my bed for an extra 2 hours and i swam in and out of flashbacks until i had a flashback about someone else who has sexually harassed me. i cant really tell if the flashbacks were another dream or just a thought of rememberebce but they felt real again. like i can feel all the emotions i’ve felt throughout each incident but i was too numb to really comprehend it in real life. it is too weird to explain. but for the rest of the day my motive to do simple tasks descaled quickly. the only thing i did today was summer school before i went back to bed and just slept but not it is time to really sleep and i’m scared to do it despite me napping throughout the entire day. why did i have to have that dream and those triggers? it’s literally been a year and since than so much has happened. i feel horrible now.