me and my PTSD

I have been dealing with PTSD for years and have only recently accepted that I had/have it. I don't know what to do. Thank you for this thread.

I was molested by my older brother when I was younger for many years. When I finally gathered the courage to tell my parents I was in middle school. I don't know when it started because my memory is crap/I blacked a lot out. I was in therapy for a little while, but not long. I was discouraged from talking about it. I was told that people would judge me. I still have to see him at holidays and family functions.

I have flashbacks.

The first time a boyfriend kissed me I had a panic attack. Same with every "base" a boyfriend got to.

I get sick randomly when something triggers a memory or feeling.

I feel like I lose control of my body.

I disassociate.

I avoid functions and people who I like if I know there's a chance of me seeing him.

I'm on high alert at all times and the slightest move or sound with startle me.

I to experienced a traumatic xperience but not to ur xtent you shud try to go out more baby steps at first n beleave me talking does help dosent make it go away.ur already on the rite track by being on this site.sharing helps you to cope without you feeling like ur alone so be strong n member baby steps.godbless

Hi ive bin sectioned twice i suffer ptsd personality disorder n servere depression.i was constantly pyscically abused from an early age xpelled from skool in an out of kids homes living on streets age 10 then thru the prison system xdrug addict alcholic is it any wonder ive now lost the plot.whats normal?dont go out cos i no i go mental over the slightest thing.im a 1man nutter not to b trusted.