Some things seem impassible...
I was abused for the major part of my childhood by a family member. This caused so many psychological problems for me, even to this day. However, that being said, I am no longer the same victim I always said I was. Some things seem impassible. I swore I would never overcome those terrible things and their lasting effects. Those effects still linger, I won't lie.
But I can look back and not feel as I once did. It took years of mindset training and getting my priorities straight. Once I realized that only I control how the past affects me, I could finally put myself in my child shoes and re-live those events with the aim of confronting it. It was hard and some days it still is. But nothing is impassible if you can understand only you control you. No one else, no matter how much they try. You can be your best company facing those things that hurt you and pass the impassible.
I applaud your courage. We can never go back. Some may re-live memories with the same outcomes.
It is important that we each realize that there is no one more deserving of our forgiveness, patience, love, and kindness than ourselves. I believe that is a major stumbling block for many.
I tend to go off on tangents, I'll avoid that by just saying continue to be courageous.
…and I still remain
I would sometimes I would venture into those memories I lock away and find myself in the same position and with the same feelings and outcome. I would get scared to even begin to think about it. But I learned to think of these things as a lucid dream.
I was and still am my worst enemy. And my enemy would sometimes like to bring back that pain and sense of helplessness.
I intend to make myself my own best friend so that these things and new experiences, good or bad, can become something for my own betterment. It sounds and feels like an impossible task... Believe me.
I thank you though for your feedback :)
For whatever reason (here you go, anyone with thoughts on anthropology!) we almost always seem to be our worst critics. It is quite sad that we often don't consider treating ourselves with the same grace as we do with others.
It may seem silly, but I try to smile a lot. I never know when I'll be making a memory for someone. Besides, it confuses the heck out of people!
