Im confused and unsure how to help.

I currently suffer from depression,anxiety,social anxiety,cen,childhood physical abuse, ocd towards cleanliness, nightmare,chronic pain aka phantom pain, insomnia, digestive problems, unrecognizable flashbacks, suicidal thoughts,low self esteem, relationships problems, trust issues, gender issues, sexual preference issues, short term memory loss, i dont ever feel safe and im always apologizing for things that were out of my hands because I blame myself. Im 16 and live alone. I think i was sexually abuse and dealing with PTSD from sexual abuse but I cannot remember an event like that the ever took place. Is there something that i can do to remember that sort of event? Dose this sound like PTSD to anyone else or is there something else it could be.