Feeling Lonely
I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple years ago. I've come a long ways since then but I still can't seem to let myself feel vulnerable. I would love to find that special someone but I feel like it's hopeless because I never let anyone close. I feel so used and worthless, I can't imagine anyone ever wanting me. And I'm so scared of being hurt. I don't want to be lonely anymore but I don't know what to do. :(
@iheartmydog Hi Heart, Im really sorry you feeling as you do and I hope that you can find this forums a supportive space for yourself. It sounds like you have been through a lot and that this has affected your self of self, your self esteem, your self worth etc. It is possible to get to a place where through healing from your experiences, you can learn to like yourself again and to believe you are a worthwhile human being. Sometimes the things we go through, particularly trauma puts us on alert for future potential situations where we may believe there is danger or where we believe we are not safe. Part of that is how the body responds when it perceives there to be a threat, perhaps a current situation which is reminding us of the past. Part of healing will be to recognise those triggers, those warning signs and to try and differentiate between then and now. Has you learn to begin accepting yourself, liking who you are, letting go of any blame you may carry for your experiences, and learning to manage the triggers, it may become easier over time to also start trusting again. Sometimes its a case of taking a risk because no matter how safe you try and make yourself, we cannot see into the future and we cannot control the actions of others. But there are good people out there. Sometimes its just a matter of deciding not to let the past also become your future
@dancingRainbow45 Thanks for your kind reply :) I was having a really down moment when I posted. Decided to start working on the trauma more in therapy a few wks ago so having to tell my story of what happened, and even worse having to retell it each wk, has really been triggering. Things are very up and down lately :/
@iheartmydog Im sorry to hear that things have been difficult for you lately, especially with dealing with traumatic experiences within your therapy and I can appreciate how it must feel like a rollercoaster of a ride. Therapy can be tough and you will get good and bad days but we are here for you if you need. Being triggered can feel very emotional at times, and there is some useful information in the trauma forums on how to cope with triggers if you wish to take a look. Healing from trauma is hard work, but well worth it in the end, so stay strong and know you can do this as you survived the worst before :)