Confused need help.
Okay so many of you may know me but yes I've dealt with sexual abuse and my mother abandoned me when I was younger. Maybe when I was 2. I don't know how I am going to end up feeling at the end of this thread. But so u have been having a hard time. I have memories of my abuser and being abused. I was 6-10 and a half. I have told the police and I feel like the memories should be gone but they aren't. Are they supposed to be? Is it normal that I'm terrified of the guy coming back but I want him to so I can say sorry? How can I move on and feel closure? I did tell the police about it last month or 2 months ago. I just need help with trauma therapy help me? I am diagnosed with ptsd but is it possible I can have cptsd ? I just needed some questions answered I'm sorry thanks for helping or reading or whatever .
@imsorryitry Hej I'm Raven. We havn't met yet i'm always adult side. I'd like to call you Try if I may, for you have Nothing to be sorry for. When someone steals our billfold we don't apologise to them for not having alot of money in there for them, ryt?
I'm so sorry for the sufferings you have endoured. I too have been assaulted that way many times, and I too was abandoned (age 5, both parents)
I wish I could say it alle will go away hon, but na fact is we can't undo many things. The Most Important we can do is to find a good Trauma Therapist, and do the hard work. Nope not easy nor a fun time. At your own pace you will find your way as long as you face it fierce.
Next you will learn along the way alle the many things that trigger your reactions, and learn to dispell them, or see them coming and avoid them. (people places etc.
Most important thing is to keep yourself mindful at alle times of past and present. Many situations will be too familliar and set you off. Knowing the situations you are in, your surroundings etc., as well as keeping mindful of past and present will make a huge difference. Like try to not put past situations on current non related ones. This really helps alot.
Also try to not feel sorry. Many of us feel this, it's part of their abuse and we do NOT deserve this crap hon. Try to not fear the words, call it out for what it was. Say it out loud and it's ok to be angry that it happened, it was a crime against you. Not your fault nor anithing you deserved.
I wish you alle the best hon, if you don't already have one find a Trauma Therapist, and be fearless and brutally honest in your work there. Yes work, not a weekly complaint session ;).
Good Luck dear
Raven
@Raveninthelabrynth
Yes I do have a trauma therapist it's for dbt also. I am in it I just wish I was doing better already
@imsorryitry have you heard of the counting exercise? Often used for ptsd?
Its possible for anyone to have cptsd. Of course. Just hang in there.
@imsorryitry a long rough road some of which may neer end. Don't think of where ye ar, just keep marching forward, occasionally to look bak an see how far you actually have gotten ;)
@imsorryitry Hon, way I see it iffin yer standing vertical, and pumping aer and half sane, ye got it made hon.
Trauma is no joke an you had your share. time an patience luv, parts of trauma ar a life long work in progress.
Yer facing it an doing the work, don't try to measure, just see each day
Much Love
Raven