Advice, life, lost
This is going to be a rant and at the same time I need an advice. For context im 24/25F immigrant in Montreal from SEA. I have a family but Im not sure if they are really a family. For context my mom has been an OFW since I was like 3rd grade and then my deceased father took care of us. It wasnt that nice since I kinda become aware that he was cheating with my mom with our helper which stays also in our house. I also have an older sister who just scams and leech my parents off their money. My sister ran away from our house when she was 16 since she met a partner online and decided to live off that person's house FOR 10 yrs. She still would constant ask my parents for money for years. And my parents given how delusional they are keeping sending her money still to idk somehow lure her to go back home. When my father died my suster stay with us me and my younger brother to basically take all away the pension money of my dad. It was a horrible day for me since my mom who was working in abroad blamed me for it (after this I started living alone for 6 or 7 years since my brother lived with our aunt and I was left alone since I am already at the uni in this time). I can still remember what she told me that it was basically my fault why did my sister stole the money. For context also my mom doesnt like me well. I remember her yelling at me to leave the house when I accidentally step on her hair when she was sleeping. And just constant nitpicking about my body and my face ( I was acne prone since I also have PCOS). I was also raped by our neighbor's son when I was around 6 or 7 yrs nobody knew excpet my closest friends and ofc here. And I was also diagnosed with PTSD. So now currently I am living with my mom and she is quite old now. She kinda indirectly pressuring me to idk make some money or job. But mind you I had a job before I quit ( i am studying full time french now) since she kept yapping I should start speaking french and *** since im here in quebec. She also loves yapping my business with her boyfriend who basically dont know me personally but since my mom kept telling *** he acted like he know me. I remember hearing him talking how lazy I am and *** when he doesnt know anything. Now im here stress with on going application to have a MLS license here in Canada but I have a license to work in the US. And an on going uni admission which im not sure what is going on. Im really lost and dont know what to do and really tired.
Currently my sister is pregnant and my mom wanted her to come her. But I think she might be scamming my mom again for some money. And it will take a toll on me again since everytime something bad happen to my mom she lashes out on me. I will take all the nasty words and find a way to blame it on me again.