Abusive Relationship PTSD - Still Struggling

I find it hard to believe that this time last year I was in this really abusive relationship. My ex girlfriend wasn't native to the UK, and last Summer I travelled to where she was from for two months to meet her family, and this is where I witnessed her mother and sister being abusive towards her, and I ended up getting the backlash of it. She was mainly mentally abusive but there were occasions she'd hit me and/or push me around.

I was treat like a hostage. I often said I could have gone to prison for two months and been treat better. But it's like I was told to either sit outside and stare at the same spot day in, day out, or I'd be sent to my room like a naughty child if my ex and her mum wanted to argue, and I never had a clue what was going on, I just had to follow orders. I mean I was 19, and even turned 20 out there.

One year on, I'm 21. But it isn't getting any easier. It hit me the other day that maybe I do have PTSD. In May, I travelled to Germany to visit a friend who was studying out there for a few months. I went into the room where he was staying and I couldn't cope. Where he had his bed, desk, wardrobe and then where the door and window were positioned, it was all exactly the same as the room I stopped in last year. I couldn't stay in this room. I was in a different country, with different people under different circumstances and yet I couldn't cope.

The problem is, I just keep replaying the things that happened over and over in my head, wondering why I didn't just end things with her and fly back home, but saying that, the abuse was worse once she came back to the UK.

We broke up in January, and around April I started hanging around with an old friend of mine whom I became closer with, and me and her are now official. I love her to pieces and she knows about my history and promises to stick by me and support me. But to me, she shouldn't have to, one thing I've been worried about is disturbing her in the night when I struggle to sleep, or when I have nightmares, and she ended up seeing that last weekend. She tells me I didn't disturb her in the night but I know I did.

I'm constantly just getting flashbacks and nightmares. I'm trapped. I don't want to live in the past, I want to be happy and live for the moment and future.