Unforgettable, but Forgotten

I was "molested" by my dad and I remember nothing. Supposedly we slept together naked one night and he did things he shouldn't have. The doctors claimed they found scarring in my body and my hymen was broken. He took something I can never get back. I just wish I could remember. Maybe remembering would stop the countless nightmares that I also don't remember. I just wake up afraid. My family says I move around a lot and cry out sometimes. It's the not knowing that haunts me... Does anyone else not remember? I feel so alone and angry about all this.