Poem about part of my life *trigger possibly *
As a baby mommy wasn't there to help. She didn't want to take care of her little one just as a baby I learned don't cry no one cares. At 2 I was taken from her daddy tried to make my life better. I had food and someone who cared a little. Daddy tried and I trusted him. At 4 my baby sitter came along. She had attention. I needed it to though. But daddy needed to take care of a baby. Bit daddy don't forget me I'm your baby too... At 6 I was first molested I pleaded no no one heard or cared. At 6 I was raped too. I learned no one will hear you when you talk so be quiet. That d it's were more important than me. But daddy mommy I need you I only started to feel I was used for sexual needs. At 8 mommy came back she brightened my darkness but when she left the sadness crushed me. But mommy and daddy doesn't notice the sadness do you even want me?? Mommy don't go I love you. At 10 I first started to hate who I was. But I guess that is what being a big girl is. I told at this time. Mom doubted me. I turned all the hate on me I learned I'm not lovable. That don't say anything about how you feel no one believes you. I say please help me no one even notices.... At 12 I spent most of my night crying fighting the demons away. Looking at the calories. Skipping meals. I even hurt myself for the first time. Hey all said stop trying to get attention. At 12 I Learned I'm a worthless girl who is a nothing. That mommy didn't want me so maybe daddy didn't either. I say please help me with this beast. No one heard or cared. At 14 I was suicidal and loosing weight. Me and mom fought more. I felt better off dead. From throwing up my food and not eating much. I spiraled even more. Mommy and daddy why don't you love me?. At school I was touched by a friend. I felt that all I am is a sexual object. Mommy and daddy were too into drugs to notice or care. But mommy and daddy don't you see I'm falling apart. Please help me I'm cutting my skin to hide the pain. Taking pills to silence the thoughts. I had so many flashbacks. I went to a hospital where I thought I would get help or feel loved. They medicated me they didn't fix or treat. I learned don't speak because I'm worthless. To cover up pain not deal with it. Daddy why am I so forgotten? Mommy why did you leave? Am I really that bad? Am I only used for sex? I'm the problem aren't I? At 15 I spend my birthday in the hospital the people said they loved me I believed. I eventually got out daddy was mad and I was too. I was taken from someone and everyone who felt like they cared. Within weeks I attempted again. But I try to deal but I feel don't speak say I'm fine.
@imsorryitry You are not worthless, you are worth so much more than you believe. You are not the problem, you are trying to cope. I'm so sorry for everything you have been through, you are so brave for reaching out. I'm offering a safe hug if you would like 
@FloweringBunny
thank you so much i feel pretty worthless. yesterday my mom yelled at me and got up and punched me . then threw a bottle of aspirin at me and said here is more pills .. that was right after she said she wanted me to die. i said okay i feel awful still. this was my step mom . a lot went on yesterday im not going to lie if i didnt take pills last week none of this would have happened. i told my mom that all you do is drink while im stuck here doing laundry and dishes and watching abby and reva ( my younger sister) it made me so angry i said sher is cheating on my dad and she said yeah i brought you to my boyfriends house i was so upset. i couldnt do it much anymore. she then left after she hit me and kicked me then threw bottles of pills at me . i broke the bottle open and tried to take them my dad stopped me. he really cares for me im just so worried about him right now more than me . he is sick.He said she has to go get help or leave forever your sisters and you are more important. my mom later came back drunk and fell asleep in the car. i hate living in a broken home i swear. im the problem but people say im not
@imsorryitry You are never the problem, you are a teenager, they are the adults, they should be caring for you. I'm sorry that your mum is treating you like this, you do not deserve it. Is there someone safe you can talk to about this? A teacher or social worker? You deserve to feel safe at home.
