Physical triggers
When I was a little girl, I was molested by my mother's boyfriend for 2 years before I was placed in foster care where I grew up. I'm 23 now and I act like I'm fine, and most of the time I am. But when my husband and I are intimate there are certain things that I can't stand and when he does these things it makes me angry beyond belief. I wish it wasn't this way, but it's almost like I can feel the anger explode within me and it takes all I have not to hit him, and I mean HIT him. I feel bad because these triggers are normal intimacy things that shouldn't be a problem but they are. How to you overcome the physical triggers left behind after sexual abuse?
I struggled for a long time with similar issues. I found that the book "The Sexual Healing Journey" really helped me - it's inexpensive on amazon (I think I paid $4) and it will help you understand how you think about sex and give you some excercises to help you work through the negative feelings and reactions. Your body needs to relearn responses to sexual stimulus, and that will take time and effort. Which sucks, but it will definitely be worth it. For starters you should take some time to think about what specific things set you off and it what contexts. If the majority of your trauma happened in a certain time or involved a certain action it would probably do you some good to avoid those times/actions for a little while. And don't be afraid to open up to your partner! It's okay to say, "I don't want to do X" or "I need to slow down" or "It helps when you do Y". The two of you are a team, and you can work through this as a team.
I've found that if you keep telling yourself that it's your husband and you love him and it isn't that awfulman, you can overcome some physical triggers. It might not work fully, but it helps me a lot of the time
