Do you think im traumatised?

I met this boy in February 2013 in school when i was only 13 years old, im 19 now. I fell for him, very hard even though we never spoke a word to eachother. He left in june that same year and i thought that once he left, my love for him would end and stop there aswell. But i took it very hard, i didnt know how to deal with it, so i cried nearly every night for months. It was hard because i had noone to tell and noone even knew how much i liked him, because how can you fall for someone youve never even spoken to right?

But every February and every June, i fall into this trance where im quiet and very sensitive. In the first 2 years id cry alot because i would remember him, his face, his voice, everything about him. But in the past 4 years, every February i distance my self from my friends, ive ruined some of my friendships because of it aswell and now i dont really have that many friends. and recently, this start of February, i seem to be doing the same thing, i even cried the other day in so long because i thought of him. Is this a type of trauma? I want to know what is wrong with me. I mean i probbaly do still like him since each time i like a boy, i never give him my full heart, not because i dont want to, i just never have been able to ans i believe it is because i gave it all to him and got it thrown back at me. Ofcourse i dont blame him.

So what is it? Is it Trauma? I just want to know, am i just still heart broken?

Please anyone tell me

Thank you ♡