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Do you ever wonder
sadcupoftea January 2nd, 2019
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Do you ever wonder how life got to this point. How one bad memory aftet the other just combined together to form this huge mass of pain that lives with me to this day. I wonder all the time. What I did to warrant these things and why. I spend so much time asking why as well. I've always been that person thar's never anyone's first choice. I've never been super happy or enjoyable and maybe i'm annoying. I feel like my life now is one trigger after the other. A constant cycle of breakdowns and attempts to ground myself, then dealing with the emotional hangover only to get triggered again after. I push people away because I don't want to become a burden or an annoyance. I just feel so negative all the time and it consumes me and I feel like my problems and pain is the majority of what I talk about and how I interact with others. Like who wants to be around someone whos depressed all the time.

Thanks for reading if you do.

2
zaatarHoney January 4th, 2019
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@sadcupoftea

OP, oh I relate so much to this. I feel like, the more we progress in life, the more responsibilities we acquire, the more we expect out of ourselves, the past will always come bubbling up- manifested into behaviors we learned to survive, or what we learned secondhand.

We have all had to adapt to different circumstances, and had different people as rolemodels, and eventually- we will continue to see its impact as life unfolds for us. Or unresolved feelings have a way of catching us off-guard, whether we become triggered by something we have fought to let go of, or the feelings come up unexpectedly all-together.

But what is important, is that youre aware of how to return back to center. You know how to get yourself back on track. You have an awareness for self, but also a VISION for self, a way of being to strive for. ♡ Whats that proverb? Fall 7 times, stand up 8.

If youd ever like to talk, Im here for you.

calmPaul281 January 2nd, 2019
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@sadcupoftea

HI. Welcome and thanks for sharing what is going on for you right now.

lt must be tough for you to beon that cycle and to have all those feelings. It sounds a really hard thing to have to cope with on a daily basis.

I wonder what would have to change to help start make things different for you.

And just to let you know you can always chat to me if I'm around.

Take Care
paul

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