Do I Count?
I'm honestly not sure whether this really counts as a traumatic experience. I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing.
When I was about 10 or 12, my boyfriend - a few years older than me - touched me on a car ride. He put his hand on my thigh. I was really uncomfortable, but I couldn't really scoot away because it was a car. He rubbed me on the very top of my inner thigh and kind of fondled for a while. I was pretty freaked out and nervous. I sat as far as I could after that and brought things to do with him so he wouldn't do it again. I can't remember if it worked.
I later forgot about the incident, but when others in a group were sharing similar stories, it brought it to my mind again. Now being touched at all makes me panic. I had a VERY hard time showering for a while, and taking a bath is a definite no. People who remind me of him terrify me. Anything sexual makes me very nervous. Depending on what it is, or if someone touches me unexpectedly/too much, I could have a panic attack.
I guess my question is, is what happened actually bad? It wasn't much. I feel like I'm overreacting.
@RecoveringKid
I'm so sorry that happened to you.. *hugs*. Everyone's stories are different but that doesn't mean that someones trauma is any less than anyone elses. Trauma is not defined by a certain thing, trauma comes in all different sizes (not sure if this is making sense), guess what i'm trying to say is that your trauma is valid and don't let anyone ever tell you it's not. TBH i used to think that my trauma was insignificant to others and in a way i suppose i was comparing and trying to downplay what happened. I told myself it didn't matter because i don't and i hope you don't feel this way because you matter so much!! I am here to support you on your recovery journey.. Sending much love and *safe hugs*
@RecoveringKid
Is bad because wasn't mutual. You didn't want it and he still did it. Is normal for us to feel really bad and terrified with experiences like that
So you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, you're not overreacting. Is a hard experience to deal with
But the bright side is that you shared here, that alone takes alot of courage! Is the first step to heal :)
@RecoveringKid
I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Personally, I don't think that you are overreacting. Your trauma is very valid. I am not an expert on this, but I think that no one should go through what you went through. You may think that your trauma is different from others but that doesn't make it any less of a trauma. I hope you find the help you need in this community.
