Attachment Trauma Triggers
hi.
i've never done anthing like this before. so here goes.
in april i survived a near-death experience that left me both physically and mentally traumatized. once the physical stuff healed, the emotional trauma became very apparent. the experience ripped open past traumas that i thought i had resolved. i started getting help, and it became clear that i have complex ptsd and attachment trauma. since november, it's been one hell of a bumpy ride. then, this week, my therapist abruptly closed her practice, the grandmother who helped raise me was diagnosed with brain cancer, and my girlfriend of 8 months abruptly broke up with me after getting a dog together 3 weeks ago. so... yeah. i'm not doing very well. very, very triggered. i feel so insanely alone. the thing with being queer is that your same sex girlfriend becomes your best friend at the same time. you don't just lose your girlfriend, you lose your best friend (and half of your wardrobe... lol). so i am devestatingly lonely. i drove to stay with my dad for some time, but he is leaving today to be with my grandmother. which means that i will be alone for the first time since this all happened 4 days ago. and i am terrified.
@Tayboi Hi Tayboi You have so much courage to share all that you have here about all your trauma's and your struggles around attachment issues and it's no wonder you have huge attachment issues. Firstly, I think you are amazingly strong to have survived all you have. To have reached out when you have have done so before also takes amazing strength and courage so well done you for finding that inner courage and strength to be able to find that wisp of trust to do so.
What happened for you in April? It sounds horrific whatever what was. You don't have to share anything you don't feel safe to share and we are here when you wish to do that, okay. This is all about it being in your control, when you feel safe and having that choice. Whatever happen, Im glad that you were able to get some help for yourself tho your therapist closing her practise has obvious been another trauma in itself. How do you feel about your therapist deciding to move on?
The diagnosis of your grandmother must have been a difficult one for you, have you have coped and felt about this? To be alone with all of this must feel terrifying and its important to try and put support systems in place for yourself if your able but that in itself must feel terrifying given that everything that has been close has also been lost. Where are you currently living?
I would like to share a document with you on trauma and attachment, you may find it useful reading.
http://www.ccaa.net.au/documents/TheEffectsOfTraumaOnAttachment.pdf
