About me
I’m not sure which group I should join. There are so many I think I fit into here, I don’t know how to pick. My therapist said I have had traumas. I have a lot of diagnoses. I feel like a jumble of mess and a pile of nothing at the same time. I know some things about me, but I don’t know who I am. I’ve gone through these phases where I was mostly anxious for years, then sad for some more years. Now I’m just pretty angry. I have good feelings too, but it’s like I don’t really know how to express them. I’m never very excited or laugh really hard. I understand why after learning about my diagnoses, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. I feel very far away from other people. Except my husband and kids, they’re the only people I feel connected to. Before I had them, I don’t like remembering what life was like then. I wish I could feel happier now that I have them. It’s like I am, I’m thankful, I feel a lot, but something in my mind stops me from fully experiencing things. That’s all I can think of for now. I picked this name because I used to hate who I was, but there’s like this angry side of me that wants to defiantly embrace all my chaos.
@EmbracingChaos
Embrace every part of you! Hard, ugly, beautiful..ALL of it! It isn't easy but you can learn to accept and love yourself. You are beautiful no matter what you go through!
@anxietywarrior23 thank you. I had this breakthrough recently (in theory anyway, still working on in practice). Like I got to a point where I could tell myself that bad things that happened to me weren’t my fault. But then there were other things about me where it’s like “Nope, not that. You still need to feel deficient about being that way.” If it’s just part of my personality, something that’s comforting, or the way I’ve learned to be, if it’s not harmful than maybe I need to welcome it. I’m the only one who has to live my life, no one else.
