About me

I’m not sure which group I should join. There are so many I think I fit into here, I don’t know how to pick. My therapist said I have had traumas. I have a lot of diagnoses. I feel like a jumble of mess and a pile of nothing at the same time. I know some things about me, but I don’t know who I am. I’ve gone through these phases where I was mostly anxious for years, then sad for some more years. Now I’m just pretty angry. I have good feelings too, but it’s like I don’t really know how to express them. I’m never very excited or laugh really hard. I understand why after learning about my diagnoses, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. I feel very far away from other people. Except my husband and kids, they’re the only people I feel connected to. Before I had them, I don’t like remembering what life was like then. I wish I could feel happier now that I have them. It’s like I am, I’m thankful, I feel a lot, but something in my mind stops me from fully experiencing things. That’s all I can think of for now. I picked this name because I used to hate who I was, but there’s like this angry side of me that wants to defiantly embrace all my chaos.