cptsd has ruined me. i hate this so much
ch3rryvamp
May 26th
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it destroys me that my trauma and emotional disregulation has rendered me such a shell of a person. im either too depressed to do anything at all, or so filled with rage and hatred that i fall into incredibly self destructive behavior. either way, it’s too much for my loved ones to deal with, and anyone i’ve let in before has left my life. so i pretend to be calm and strong and functional. im so scared all the time and i can’t talk to anyone about any of this or even share my real feelings because i’ll just make everyone i love leave me again. im so alone. im so scared. i just want help. i just want love.