Was told i have some trauma
Recently I was told that I have some kind of trauma and it's linked to my current situation and that I'm self sabotaging myself and that it's my fault as to why I'm in this situation
just go on a tangent but talk about some parts of my experience with the past Got bullied by my cousin who keeps demanding money from me and harasses me even tho I keep change numbers she gets my number else where I literally have no control of mine and everytime I bring this up to another family member I get told that I'm thinking this is happing but I even got proof in text messages and everytime I tried to quit the job we both work at my cousin calls me up yells at me for an hour and even if I go in to do a good job I get called retarted and everytime their in my car I'm also told that I have no idea how to drive and get criticized for following the rules of the road they even take my phone and download things on it such as apps and music but delete my stuff beacuse it's for retarted people and this is just the small stuff in my past she put me in debt by forcing me to sell my Xbox for drug money and called me 24/7 for 100 dollars for drugs and if I bring this up then she threatens to beat me up but this is an all to common threat as she says it all the time it's causing me anxiety and it even ruined my love of art and I'm going to destroy my old art works since theirs really no point in wanting to keep them and since this has happened I feel I might have lost control of my life beacuse If I say no then everyone tells me we have to stick together beacuse family but when I brought this up as being dysfunctional I got laughed at and I was recently told that the was all my fault and I find myself dreading the next day 24/7 and daring to go two weeks ago I even pretended to be sick but was herrassed for not going in and then once back all I got was yelled at once again but when they want something their extremely nice but once they have it I'm treated like a bad guy and I know that thiefs are treated better then me they turn their life around they get parties, get to go to ceremonies and celebrations, beacuse i graduated college but didn't get any type of welcome back party or anything with friends or family insted I got my money stolen and put back into a *** situation and since I have no money I have no choice but to live at the place where everything gose wrong I tried living on my own with rent but in this current situation I couldn't even pay my rent on time so I made the choice to leave, had to cancel my gym membership, and a few subscriptions I enjoyed lookin/reading now all I have to do is play video games all day beacuse i can't afford anything i didn't previously own and another thing is I don't get a choice in any of my own decisions, I throw my back out and I get told I'm faking and get yelled at by my cousin for being lazy and they threatened to hit me in the spot to fix it or how I have to drive and hour away to take her child to school and I get paid 20 dollars for it then they get things that cost 20 dollars and If I don't get it then I get yelled at and called a *** so close to hitting them
Wouldn't mind talking to someone from time to time