Tired
Me and my husband argued and hes out of town working said he wants me to pack his *** and now he has me blocked and not responding other then short response like yup and I love you goodnight at night time then turns off his phone and he texts my kids goodnite. Not to be to open but I send him texts like this because I feel I need to know if we are really Done and he acts like I'm being childish and need to grow up I am trying to. I never had a healthy relationship even as a kid I have c ptsd and realize I need to control my emotions better but my husband ignoring me for 3 days is hurting me and idk what to do 😢
Anyways here literally one of the texts I have sent him and I get no response *Ok so I said I was sorry. I been doing what we said would be best 4 us and and actually reaching out for help in return u tell me u love me and really wish I'd come back to you and u cut off all communication with us for 2 days now. I'm really working on me its nothing any one can do 4 me but in my head I'm still on survival mode when rest of the world is just living. I see this and am on land finally after yrs not lost at sea alone. But i really need to know are you not willing to work on us as a couple now? My past has been haunting me dnt get confused not John n Cindy but james hit the trauma button just right. And I see it's nothing u or anyone can help me with I just got to rewrite how I respond.i love u n love the way u make me most of the time but when ur like this its hard So if it's a bridge I already burnt and is no repair just plz let me know because I don't want to continue to hurt me or you.
Why am I so confused and lost?
Hi helpful lion,
I’m sorry that you have suffered trauma in the past and are struggling with your relationship.
Just from your brief description these are my thoughts.
Your husband is ignoring you and is playing a power game with you by the way he is communicating with you.
How do you feel about your relationship with him?
You have CPTSD. Give yourself a break and kindness.
Do you love yourself? Is he supportive of you? Does he make you feel life is better because he is in your life?
He has needs and you have needs. Does he meet your basic needs. The things that are important to you?
Is it ok that he blocks you?
What are your boundaries? Does he know them, does he respect them?
You sound like you find it very stressful that he blocks you and sends you short texts.
It is very acceptable to communicate that you find this stressful and that he needs to communicate his feelings in a different way.
Your feelings are your feelings. They are neither right or wrong but they are your feelings and you are not to dismiss them by saying they are ‘childish’ and you need to ‘grow up’.
You respect you.
Imagine if your child says they feel scared about a monster under the bed. What do you do?
Hopefully reassure them and help them feel safe. You don’t attack that feeling.
You said you’ve never had a healthy relationship. Well more than 50% of marriages fail so If you have CPTSd then it does add more challenges to any relationship you may have.
Getting support and treatment for CPTSD , if you aren’t already, could make a big difference. There’s lots of interesting treatments on offer these days.
Well I do hope there may be something useful for you in the above.
Take very good care of yourself and go give those kids a great big hug ❤️
