I'm very... Very worried about myself.

Hello, I don't really know where to put this but I just wish to unload it and for someone to maybe help me with this feeling if they understand it a little... 

Recently I haven't been feeling really well... But more than anything, I just have this resurging feeling that I don't feel like myself. There's a creepy feeling I really struggle to describe, but it's scaring me. To try and explain it as best as I can, basically I think I'm addicted to something akin to a rush of power. I always want to become stronger, to be the best, and it's a normal feeling! But for me, it seems off... Like it's not healthy at all. I just don't feel like myself anymore, it's like everything I see I can struggle against, I will. When I get this rush of power, whether it be by sports, or in competitive video games, I feel not only satisfied, but I feel like I want more, and more. And that I won't be satisfied until I can crush everything down if I wanted to.

It worries me because the old me wasn't like that. Right now I feel like... Insane. Possessed sometimes even. I feel like losing myself completely. It's like some kind of trauma made me extremely aggressive and combative, but again, in a way that's not healthy at all.