*trigger warning* - Religious abuse and how to support someone

Religious abuse is also known as spiritual abuse, religious abuse happens when someone uses religion or spiritual beliefs to hurt, control or scare someone.

Religious abuse might include:

· Stopping you from practicing your religious or spiritual beliefs

· Forcing you to participate in religious practices that you do not want to participate in

· Using religious or spiritual leaders or teachings to:

1. Force you to stay in a relationship or marriage

2. Excuse violence and abuse

3. Encourage you to accept violence and abuse

4. Stop you or your children from getting medical health care

5. Forcing or pressure you into a marriage you don’t want

To read more on what religious abuse exactly is click here

The most important thing to remember is that what they experienced is real.

Harm done in the name of a religion is some of the most painful and confusing trauma we can experience.

Shame is what people deal with who have been abused and hurt by a religious system. Breaking free from religious abuse takes courage, and the healing of religious wounds takes time, compassion, and an exploration of the truth.

It is common for those who have experienced religious abuse to have symptoms of PTSD. Religious Trauma is unique and confusing. Talking to someone in a therapeutic setting can help you begin the healing process.

Religious abuse recovery is done from an empowerment perspective that builds on principles of self-determination, autonomy, and freedom from tactics of gas-lighting, mind control, and manipulation.

Many people experiencing abuse feel like they are alone, that people don’t understand or won’t believe them. You are not alone and there are people who will listen to you and believe you and want to support you in your healing process.

There are also many professionals, such as the police, GPs, health professionals and teachers, that are able to offer advice and put you in touch with specialists.

When you talk to someone who opens up about religious abuse, we usually have an impulse like offering words of wisdom or giving advice on how to leave. However, what someone experiencing and talking about trauma truly needs is someone to actively listen to them and validate their experience. Let them know that you are a safe person to trust by simply listening, keeping their confidence. Keep in mind that we do not give advice as listeners as we never know the full story and situation they are in.

If an abused person is upset, it can sometimes seem like they are attacking the religion. When this happens, it's important to not get defensive. Try to focus on the feelings of the person is having such as betrayal, confusion, anger, sadness and let them know those feelings are valid (note: all feelings are valid).

Religious abuse is a complex form of abuse, involving religious, physical and psychological trauma. If someone opens up to you about religious abuse, encourage them to seek help.

For listeners reading this, know that you don't have to stay in a chat that is triggering or making you feel uncomfortable, sometimes its more helpful to end the chat than staying in the chat and saying the wrong things.