Parent Abuse

Hey

So I would just like to raise awarness about Parent Abuse. If you look on the internet you will not find much information about this as it is all about children getting abused by adults. But to have your own child abusing you it very difficult knowing what to do. I also want to point out that it is not just from teenagers, small children can do this to you as well. There is help out there. There are charities who you can talk with who can advise you what you can do and really want to help you and your child or teenager.

Parent Abuse is a form of domestic abuse and is a serious problem which results in physical harm, depression, damage to property, job loss, and family breakdown. It is usually perpetrated by a child in their teens or younger displaying the following behaviour towards you and members of your family. Signs include:

* Threats of and/or physical violence including hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, slapping, biting, hair pulling with or without weapons or objects used as weapons.

* Swearing and name calling

* Intimidation

* A constant refusal to do as been asked ( going to bed, coming home, asking friends to leave, cleaning up after themselves, not attending school/college/work) or contribute to the household or participate in normal family activities.

* Bullying by text or phone

* Stealing money or property or misuse of parents credit cards/phones/computers

* Deliberate damaging of property

* Threats of or actual violence to pets or other children of the household as a way of intimidation

* Emotional blackmail

* Drug/alcohol abuse in the home

* Belittling parents in front of friends/other family members/public.

Many parents may recognise some of these signs as "normal" teenage behaviour, but those suffering from parent abuse have experience physical harm resulting in medical treatment or even death, damage to property, theft and bullying at the hands of their teenage children. This causes parents to lose complete confidence in themselves as parent and human beings, and is debilitating for the child as the parent loses complete control over the child, leading the teenager to be unsupported and in danger of losing out by not fitting into society.

Quite often, the child who is abusing the parent, does it wilfully and for enjoyment, since the ability for empathy and compassion is not present in the teenage psyche, and is a way of them dealing with anger management issues, psychological disturbances and hormones. Not all teenagers turn on their parents, but there is an increasing number that are.

Other times the child does this as they have been abused by one parent and blames and takes out their confused emotions out on the other parent which is worse as that parent may have also suffered abuse from the spouse also.

Since children have been made more aware of their rights as a child, it has prevented parents from administering chastisement and punishments traditionally used to control rowdy and unacceptable behaviour. The Law is always on the child's side, through legislation in Child Protection, but there is nothing to protect parents from children who abuse their parents, and in the UK, as a parent you are legally responsible for that child. In most cases Social Services are not interested, unless the child has a long history of repeated offences of violence involving the Police. Schools often permanently exclude teenagers with behavioural issues, but since there is virtually no support for these kids or their parents they quickly turn to drugs and crime.

Parent Abuse is not restricted to certain social groups, it can affect single and two parent families equally. It is usually the mother (or the main caregiver) who is most affected, but other children in the family and fathers suffer too.

How To Stop This

Firstly do not suffer in silence and take back control. You do not have to give your power away and you can put a stop to this abuse.

If you are suffering from Parent Abuse you must recognise that you are not at fault and do not deserve this, as with any form of abuse. Speak to a friend, or your GP, or contact a domestic abuse support group. Seek professional help.

I hope that i can raise awareness and help even just one person who is suffering. It is not your fault and there are people out there who can and want to help.

Take care and do this for yourself