Childhood abuse
Hi
I am a 26 year old that I thought was doing well at dealing with my childhood. Age of 5 I was abused by my dad. I believe I am dealing with a condition called repressed memories as I didn't remember the incident till I was 15 triggered by my step dad being arrested for suspicion of pedophillia and sex offending (cleared of all counts). Too me years to piece bits of memories back together, years of thinking I was sick, thinkingI had dreamt it all. The memories eventually increased in details until I asked my mum and she confirmed everything.
Through the next years I used it to drive myself in my career and life to prove I was better then him. I confronted him and he made the following years hell.
Last year I had a breakdown based around this and not dealing with the deaths of close family members and a best friend. This last year I have been so much better after finally opening up and talking about it. My issue now is that there is still no closure and now I am having dreams again with little details about my childhood still involving my dad. I'm worried that there is more abuse that I'm still unaware of or if they are false memories caused my stress or triggers.
Was wondering if anyone on here has gone through similar or if a listener knew anything on repressed memories?
Hey. I've gone through something kind of similar. When I was 4 I was abused by my neighbor who used to babysit me. I didn't even really remember any if it until I was 14ish and I had my first boyfriend and I like flipped out if he tried to touch me and I had no idea why. Eventually I started piecing some things together and tried to talk to my mom about it but she wasn't much help she would just ignore any questions I had. It wasn't until I talked to my dad that it was actually confirmed. It took me a while to get over the fear of boys touching me but I eventually did. I set sometimes have breakdowns but I've tried to find things that trigger it and avoid them.
Thank you so much for replying, sorry to hear you had to go through that. I'm beginning to learn the triggers and to avoid them like you do. I went to a counsellor yesterday and they confirm that my new recent memories are actually false and tend to happen during high stress or triggers. It's based around my original memory of the abuse. Apparently a lot of adults who were abused in childhood suffer from false memories after there original repressed one.Really odd trying to convince yourself that your new dreams aren't real. It really freaks me out as it makes me feel like there are more memories to come out about my dad but I just have to tell myself that i know it all now.
Thankfully you had your dad to confirm all to you so you had a chance to try and heal. I think you're doing a really good idea at learning to workaround the triggers.
I think it's all about trying to push yourself to not always let what happen treat us like victims for the rest of our lives. I try to use my abuse instead to drive me through almost to prove that I will not let someone else's sickness take away my life. (Doesn't always work as like wcery
i'm not sure how much detail i'm ready to say, but my father also was one of my childhood rapists.
i sympathise with you greatly. i'm here if you need to talk.
from what i've gathered through repressed memories, i was assaulted by at least 4 different men between the ages of 4 and 9. all of that was 100% repressed (like i didn't even have them as dreams) until age 17, almost two years ago.
it is pretty freaky to live your life as if you aren't a survivor, and then all of a sudden discover you are. ((big, safe hugs)) only if okay
i am here
Hi Angelheart,
I've never heard it worded like that and it's the best I've heard to describe to feel like a survivor. My heart is with you and I hope you have some very supportive people around you for this time. During my dreams all I could remember was feeling creeped out before realising it was actually a memory. You need to tell yourself that if you are remembering now it's because your body thinksyou're strong enough to handle it. I have never spoken to anyone who has gone through a similar ordeal with repressed memories before. If you want a stranger to talk to whether it be vent or just talk or any questions then please know im here for you to talk to. It's odd how much of us find solice to our own problems but looking out for others.
Stay strong, always remember you are better then these monsters and you never did anything wrong. You now have your life and although you have some monster dreams to contend with you will always come out stronger she better.
Xx
I can't comment on repressed memmories. I was abusedby a neighbor at 8 and remember every moment like it was recently, it wasn't recently, I'm 50 years old now. I believe the impact on child victims is very much underestimated, even by the pros.I am no doctor, or therapist, but I think your reaction to it all is quite normal. I believe you demonstrate awesome strength to be able to talk about it candidly.I very much hope youfind contentment.
