Loosing my mum

My mum passed away basically right infront of my eyes when I was 18 years old. She was deteriorating and I didn’t even know . She has cancer but we was told she would have maybe even 10 more years, she passed away 3 months after we found out. I’m struggling to deal with small memories of ours that we shared to cope with them and cope with the empty feeling of not having the one person I felt closest to. I have flash backs of her in hospital quite a lot and I try to block it all out but I’m concerned it’s PTSD and I’m never going to get better. My anxiety is becoming a massive issue in my life, it effects me on a day to day basis. I have started having panic attacks in the last year or so and my anxiety symptoms are a lot more physical, because of my mum passing away from an illness my health anxiety has also become severe. I wish I could feel happy again but it’s been 2 years and the hole in my heart looks like it’s staying with me and it’s never leaving. Any advice / conversation would be massively appreciated.