Daily Forum Journaling 12/17/22
Hey there friends!
I was thinking about how nice and helpful it could be to have a semi-public daily journaling routine where we can air out our feelings and seek like-minded people who can relate. I will start out for us and see where this takes us.
Today has been a little drab, but I feel like I really can't complain. Work is as mundane as usual, but at least the day is going by fairly quickly. I have thought a lot today about things that I should work on for myself and my relationships, but I know myself and I know that I severely lack the motivation to put in any real work right now. I guess it would be pretty hard to work on myself even if I did have motivation, since I don't really have any professionals that I am seeing right now who can guide me along my journey. I have been in the process of getting assessed for autism, all the while stressing out about my other mental illnesses and how they make me behave. It's getting increasingly frustrating not having the people around me understand why I am the way I am. I always try to avoid making excuses for the way I interact with others, but I am having a really hard time not lashing out when I get over stimulated or irritable. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.
@CrashListens
I think the idea of keeping a forum journal is so nice. Journaling in itself is so relieving. Making it public is a great way for others to relate and feel less alone. It sounds like you feel seeing a professional would be helpful for you. Besides getting an assessment done, have you reached out to any that you can see on a regular basis? Given that you feel that would help with motivation. 💜
@CrashListens
There was a lot that you said that I felt like I could map in different areas of my life. I technically have a therapist, but I barely get to see/talk to her because I can't afford sessions. I just do my best every day. Some days I "do better" than other days, but every day I do my best (even if that is barely getting out of bed--I don't judge my best, I Just let it be).
I also completely get the lashing out and getting irritable thing. I'm on a waitlist to get tested for autism also because I get so overstimulated and so overwhelmed (and several other things) and when this happens I can't help but hit myself or head bang (luckily I've learned where that's likely to happen and have learned to avoid it). I've also gotten a lot better at not lashing out at people so much when it happens too. You'll get there, the work to get there is hard, but it's worth it. :)
