Holidays, Trauma and Remembrance *Trigger Warning*

Holidays, Trauma and Remembrance

Today is December 19th 2020, and it marks the annual wreath laying day at veterans cemeteries in the United States and beyond. It's also sometimes known under the lead organizations name, “Wreaths Across America.”

Thousands of volunteers, family, and bluelight, medical, armed forces and veterans will be participating in event ceremonies to give each grave site a green wreath with a red bow. Last year, the organization took the movement internationally. Hoping to one day reach every place where a veteran lays, and not just Americans.

Each country celebrates differently, but the same three ideas stay the same. Remember, Honor and Teach.

During the holiday season, it is important to raise awareness to the traumas that can come with the time of year. Everywhere we turn, we see, hear, are reminded that this is supposed to be the “happiest time of the year”.

But for some people it is covered with triggers of songs, scents, rituals and people. And to many, the holidays also serve as a reminder of what does not exist, the loss of a loved one and other things.

Trauma is “an emotional response to a terrible event” that can lead to long-term reactions such as flashbacks, strained relationships, unpredictable emotions, and physical ailments such as nausea and headaches. When trauma is associated with the holidays, it can make managing symptoms especially difficult because there is an expectation for everyone to be happy during this time of year

First responders especially have a difficult time during the holidays. In addition to Holiday-Associated Trauma, emergency service personnel are also known to experience a phase called the “Holiday Blues.” Or extreme degrees of depression and anxiety triggered by the holiday season.

In public safety there is no holiday. They serve their communities, their countries 24/7 for the entire year. Christmas and New Years? Those are just two regular days at work.

Emergency dispatch still answers calls. EMTs, firefighters, police all still respond. Nurses, doctors, and hospice are still working around the clock. Military is still on deployment. Naval forces, Armies, Air forces, Coast Guards, all are still at work. Healthcare support workers and humanitarian workers are still busy. Search and Rescue, Porters, Carers, don’t find a break.

The Families of these individuals, and those retired from these fields are also affected during holidays. Seperation, loneliness and anger are some common responses.

So, what can we do about this?

Identify Trauma Triggers- Trauma triggers are things that lead up to the emotional reaction that trauma produces. These triggers can be a sound, smell, person, environment or thought that causes us to no longer feel emotionally safe. Because the holidays are known for certain smells, decorations, songs, etc., it is important to identify trauma triggers that may occur during the holiday season. Knowing triggers is a good first step in managing your response. When you realize that you are being triggered, try to identify what it is and how you can either remove yourself from the trigger or find ways to cope while it is present.

Practice Good Self-Care - The holiday season represents a time for giving and we’re taught to put others first. Though it is good to care for others during this season, if you are dealing with trauma, remember to take good care of yourself. Find time to rest and maintain good sleeping habits. Practice grounding techniques. Meditation is a good mindfulness tool. Do what brings you joy! Whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book or listening to your favorite music, find ways to nourish your soul. Be good to yourself.

Set Boundaries With Loved Ones - Let’s face it, families can be complex. Intentionally or unintentionally, our loved ones can sometimes be our greatest triggers when it comes to trauma. It is OK to set boundaries with them. Establish healthy limits when interacting with family members who may be triggering. Determine how long you feel you will be able to visit and stick to that boundary. Utilize safe relationships as a support during the holidays. If it’s possible, speak up when a family member makes you feel unsafe. It may not be an easy task. Remember that your voice matters and is powerful.

Always Remember You Have Support - You are not alone. We’re here for you to offer support. You’re part of our community.

If you need support for crisis https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/crisis-hotlines

If you need a listener https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/

Feel free to message any Trauma Support team member https://www.7cups.com/home/trauma/#leaders