Headed back on placement soon
Hello everyone,
I’m a midwifery student headed back to finish the final year of my program, after having taken a year off to work in LTC. I’d just like to hear if/how any other people working in healthcare manage their mental health/trauma responses on the job. Particularly those working on-call.
Every time my pager goes off in the middle of the night I feel like I’m dying. Waking up to an intense adrenalin rush all the time, the moment I am conscious I feel like I’m going to pass out or throw up but I have to immediently start forming and listening to words, talking and assessing, timing contractions and be planning next steps.
I used to have panic attacks and cry, and now I just feel so beyond that. I never ever lose it or freak out anymore, haven’t in over a year. I operate well during emergencies and I am proud of that fact, nothing phases me anymore. Even in my nightmares I am level headed and planning next steps, going through management algorithms, trying to be a calm presence and reassuring people around me.
But the price is I just feel awful, more or less constantly when I’m on placement. Like I’m right about to completely breakdown and shake and lose it but I never do. On the outside I appear calm and I am functional but internally I have this constant weight in my stomach and sense of dread and impending doom. I wish I could quit this program, but I have a mountain of student debt, I’m 3/4’s done and realistically I have no choice but to finish this year, get the degree, and work in the field as long as I can to pay my debts down. So just trying to figure out how to do that without letting the work eat me alive.
Hi @bluewalls58
Do you have regular counselling/therapy sessions? It is recommended in these sorts of occupations, I don't know what self-care options they teach where you live.
It sounds like you are containing yourself very well at work, which is necessary in that sort of job, and you are good at it. But it is essential to learn to manage the physical and emotional reactions. Does your workplace or university have counselling available? Or you might like to find someone elsewhere. Make sure they are experienced in that area, with good qualifications. Maybe if you could set aside an hour a week to processing those feelings/sensations and learning some techniques to manage them.
The first basic one I know of that you can use anytime/place is deep slow breathing. It takes a bit of practise to make it a habit and see results. I like bodywork also for releasing the stress we carry in our fascia and nervous system. Cranio-sacral therapy, myofascial release, massage and fun/enjoyable exercise are my favourites.
There is some good info here, including one section on panic attacks: https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php
