Still deviated
Hello people. I am new to this but I really need someone to talk to and I have no one. Yes I have family but no one that cares to listen to my feelings or problems. Right now I have a big problem. One that I feel my end my marriage. I have been with my husband for over 36 years. I love him dearly and could never see me with anyone else. That being said, I found out 3 years ago that he no longer feels the same. I caught him talking to other girls on line and telling them how "he just got out of a 30 year marriage that ended badly." My world was sooo crushed. I never knew he felt that way. I had up to that moment felt very secure in my marriage. At the time all this was going on I was sick. Had been sick for a few months. But we found out the cause and I was on the mend. I did confront him that minute. He was still at work. He came home immediately and told me what a mistake he made. He loves me and it will never happen again. Only thing is, I don't believe him. This isn't the first time I have caught him looking for greener pastures. I have caught him a couple times through the years but each time it is a bit worse. Like the first time, were those 976 numbers they had years ago. Second time I was 8 months pregnant with his daughter. His first born. That was a lady at a bar. I don't drink. He no longer drinks either. This last time was 3 years ago when I found out he had been talking to women on line. But since then I have found out that my son and daughter caught him a few year before and told him to stop or they were going to tell me. Now I no longer feel secure in my marriage and I don't know how to change that. We don't have sex. I have caught him sitting watching a naked women that I can't compete with masterbating and I have heard him in the shower but not with me. He says he still loves me but all I feel is that he is just used to me being here and is not really interested in starting over with someone else because I do everything for him and the grandkids. He just don't want to give that up. I don't know how to get back the feelings we both had for each other. I still love and charish my marriage. I just don't feel the security I used to. Can my marriage come back from this?
Actually he doesn’t love you anymore. It is just that he doesn’t want to lose you too because u both have shared 30 years together. And he also knows that he won’t be able to find another one like u who he could easily control. No offense okay but he thinks that he can easily control your emotions and u also don’t create trouble. U have 2 options : one divorce him or second go along with this. Because if he really loves you then he wouldn’t have looked at anyone else and if he made a mistake once but it won’t have happen again and again
He doesn't love you like a husband should. He knows you will put up with his infidelity because you still love him. Please love yourself more than you love him. I am speaking from experience.
@greenBranch6544 I am sorry you are in such pain and shock over the actions of your husband.
Have you considered getting a therapist to work out your feelings and help sort out this relationship? Relationships are never simple and it is particularlly challenging when one person acts in a way that compromises the integrity of the marriage like your husband does.
