@humorousCup9733
I share this diagnosis, as well as an unspecified anxiety disorder that sometimes gives me panic attacks, but I think that is getting better due to time passing since I started having them in an abusive relationship.
What do I do, and what works (when I do it, besides taking the meds?) I have found that yoga and meditation are probably the most helpful, and as journaling. I don't want to turn this reply into a big bummer because I believe we can have "normal" lives to some degree and can live full, long lives. I'm currently trying to get on nicotine gum to quit smoking cigarettes. Now, having said that...it can be hard, definitely can be hard. I had a depressive episode over the weekend and acted on a bad impulse, which left me feeling quite low and having now to recuperate. I have an alcohol problem and I had a big "slip".
I have been trying to solve the problem of feeling alone myself, and 7 cups have helped me a lot. Having a chance to care about other people and try to do things like challenges and huddles helps. Again though, that's WHEN I do it. I feel like I'm certain that if I had finished my evening Friday the way I have been, journaling the good things that happened and why they happened, I wouldn't have given in to my impulse to drink. I really can't do it, so now I have to reset that whole issue and forgive myself all over again.
So, what NOT to do? Don't give in to shallow impulses, the ones that feel sort of numb or numbing, the ones that feel like you're flying off into nowhere land like it's okay or somehow worth it to abandon the good things that help. Don't go off the meds, trust me, I'm 36 and wish I had stayed on them for the last ten years instead of only the last two. Don't let yourself convince yourself that you're truly alone, because you're not: there are others! Find your passions, dig into hobbies, and try not to use escapism too much. Escape with books that will help grow your soul, and hobbies that will help you express and work through the aloneness. I can't really give advice other than to say these are the truths for me personally, the things I know I need to do, and NOT do. I see my daughter maybe once a week, or once every two weeks, and sometimes my position in life feels pretty low. But I mean the world to her, and at this stage, I am taking small steps toward a bigger life. It's okay and valid to feel this way, right now I am right there with you. But it also gets easier, feels better, and the sadness does go away, and there are always new things to love about life despite this diagnosis. You are unique, special, and every bit as wonderful as other people. Life may be a challenge at times but the struggle is what makes us more worthy, more capable, and more equipped to offer perspectives that others simply don't have. I hope you find good ways, and good perspectives to deal with this. I know it's not easy. But we can truly have just as good a life as anyone else, we may have to be hard workers sometimes.
