How To Do Therapy
Hello, hope you're all having a great day. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for quite some time now, and I've finally pushed myself enough to go see a therapist. I've failed to make any progress for many reasons, and I had to end it and now I'm looking for a new therapist. But there's just one problem that I really don't know how to deal with. The problem is, and I struggle a lot every time I try to explain this, but it's like every time I try to open up and explain something to the therapist it just starts to make no sense? And my brain becomes foggy and I can't think straight. It's almost as if I'm two people: me in my head when I think about something or write it down and the other is me when I speak, and it makes sense to the one in my head but as soon as I'm about to share it with my therapist (or even when I say it out loud to myself) I'm like what is this? What am I even saying? (I'm even having this thought right now as I'm writing this) So I haven't been able to mention some things that are bothering me, because I become afraid that I'll mention something and the therapist will focus on it and then later I'll be like "you know what, that's not really what's bothering me I believe that the problem could be this" but I won't tell the therapist because they'll think I'm just looking for attention or an excuse to not face my problems. Or sometimes I just straight up forget to mention some things. Also, and I don't know if this is related or not, but it's the same thing with my self image. When I see myself in a picture or a video, it's like a completely different person than how I think I look or behave like in my head. Last year I started taking videos of myself and I re-watch them sometimes when I start getting confused and when I can't think straight, and for some reason they give me some sort of relief or reassurance? I really don't want to be dramatic but I have no idea how to explain this. Is this all normal? Is my mind just trying to like protect me from all these bad emotions and stuff? And how do I get over this and finally be able to get something out of therapy? Thanks for taking the time to read this and I'm really sorry if it's too long. (PS. I just wanted to note that since I was a kid, I picked up this habit of excessive daydreaming. I don't know exactly when it started, but I remember I used to be scared of going to school [I've also struggled with bullying later on] and I used to have a lot of nightmares, so I've used it as a way make myself feel better. And unfortunately I've been using it ever since)
@anxiousmohamed Hello!
I'm not an expert, but it does seem reasonable to think that your mind is just trying to protect you from bad emotions and stuff. I also agree with you that seeing a different therapist is a good idea.
The therapists I know (in real life, not at 7 Cups) would almost certainly be able to help you even if you can't explain things easily. Then, as things start to improve, you would gradually be able to explain more and more. It can be difficult to find good therapists who are skilled enough to do this, but they definitely exist.
I don't think you have to get over it first, and then have therapy. I think you have to find a good therapist first, and then you will be able to get over it.
One trick you might perhaps want to try is printing out exactly what you wrote here in the forum, so you can just hand it to your new therapist. Then the therapist will get a very clear idea of what has to be done right from the start, and you will not have to struggle to explain so much.
Charlie
Yeah you're probably right, I also thought that I should find a therapist first and then explain the situation to them. Guess I was just nervous that things won't work out this time also. Thank you so much tho I really appreciate it :-)
@anxiousmohamed Thanks for helping this member out.
You have a giving heart, just wanted to let you know this.
@RarelyCharlie Thanks for helping this person.
Your amazing.
You have a giving heart.
Hey! Wow you just put into words about what I'm experiencing and experienced things in the past but could never explain it well. Yes definitely address it, if you have to maybe even show them the exact message if you can't put it into words for them.
@Rebrosa Thanks for your compassion towards this member.
Thanks for helping.
Your amazing.
Hi there,
Welcome to the online therapy sub-community.
You’ve made such a big step reaching out today and thank you for sharing with us your story as I know it can be difficult to talk about our experiences.
Often in therapy, we work with clients who struggle to express their feelings because what is on your mind can feel like a scary place sometimes however with the right therapist, they’ll know how to put you at ease so you feel comfortable sharing. It’s important that you find the right therapist for you as the therapeutic relationship is very crucial to you feeling like you’ve made progress. Sometimes we might also feel like we haven’t made progress when we really have!
Even if you have a moment where you discuss what is going on in your mind and then find clarity, that is a positive step! It’s okay to be exploring one issue and then feel like there is a different issue. Usually, that is just the process of therapy and making sense of your world.
Try to think about what preferences you have for a therapist, male/female, and perhaps any kind of therapeutic approach you might like to explore and go from there. You can also search the 7 Cups therapists here: https://www.7cups.com/therapists/ and if you tell your therapist what you have shared here they’ll be able to help you explore your thoughts, feelings and make sense of them.
If you choose to see an in-person therapist, I love the idea of printing out what you have written here. Great idea RarelyCharlie! :)
Lisa
@LisaMeighanMBPsS
Hello Lisa, It is nice to meet you. I like your response to @anxiousmohamed.
I personally would like to thank you for the tag you sent me in chat, I tried to respond there but error code 333 would not allow me to reply back to you. So thank you for reaching out to me. I am scarletPear1945❤️
@scarletpear1945
Thank you! It is great to be in contact with you here :) I hope that you are well and thank you for all of your great work!
@LisaMeighanMScMBPsS Thanks for helping this member out.
Your amazing.
You have a giving heart and it is full of compassion and love towards others.
I am learning so much from you and @soulsings and @amiablePeace77 .
Your one amazing team.
I am blessed to be here.
You
@anxiousmohamed I hear you and understand how challenging it can be to find someone that we feel understands us and accepts us without judgment.
I like what Lisa posted above about therapy. I would read her post because I think it addresses some of the questions you posted about.
Hope you get the support you need.
Everyday of my life I'm depressed and stressed , between my parents it over their relationship is history it's beyond fixation. Everytime I think how life is gonna be like from now own because it has full surprises, maybe their love for me and my siblings will perish once they find their new partners and probably have a new families , maybe they will forget we Evey existed and then life will be like that forever until the end
@helloTurtle1682 Thanks for sharing this with us.
What you are experiencing is called dissociation. And this happens when your brain is trying to protect you from something so you detach from reality in a way because it is too painful for you.
I think it's good that you are able to open up and have a therapist that allows you to do this. My therapist doesn't care at all, I am at a point where I don't feel comfortable opening up to her and I actually feel myself shut down when I try to talk because she doesn't seem interested.
I would recommend reading some mental illnesses books. That's what's been helping me because they explain everything.
@Person94 Thanks for all your help.
Your amazing.
@anxiousmohamed I am so sorry your struggling.
Nightmares are not fun.
Nightmares can not really harm you.
It is your mind playing tricks.
I would be careful what you eat at night, if you snack.
Also, be careful, what you watch before bedtime.
I hope this helps.