The Case for Detachment (in the Buddhist sense)

I am certain of the fact that everyone suffers in some way, to some extent, and has their own reflections and feelings about the matter... some of which are difficult to deal with.

I came to Buddhism out of desperation. Having dealt with a disorderly, emotionally abusive, alcoholic father for a large number of years, and having seen my mom nearly lose her mind to that abuse, I felt forced to turn to detachment as a philosophy of "overcoming my psyche".

Because of the many internal narratives we have, flowing disjointedly yet side by side, detachment may actually be a precise solution to a complicated problem. The human ego is formed with a central clinging to itself, but if we don't know what we fundamentally are, that ego will just hurt us. I mean to say that the ego, much like our narratives, is more of a construction than a genuine fact.

The common understanding of 'detachment' seems to be misleading too, as it implies a lack of emotion, a lack of willingness to engage with one's inner feelings. This is what not I'm advocating for at all. I am saying that we SHOULD feel our feelings deeply, but not let them be our master. The same goes for our dealings with stressful people and situations, since we are either active or passive, determiner or determined. This realization has encouraged me to become mindful of my attachment.

The Buddha learned, by witnessing and then experiencing suffering, that all things which we strive to cling onto are impermanent. A thought can come and pass us by, a feeling can linger until it becomes another feeling, an action may contradict a previous action or encourage many similar actions. The very real fact of impermanence, therefore, relates to the suffering we feel as well. We are so prone to identifying with our way of seeing things, yet afraid, hesitant, and unwilling to try new ways. By feeling no attachment to self or other, we become One with the world. This is a beautiful transformation.

We must be more open to the possibility of holistic and natural methodologies for treating mental health struggles. When I go outside and spend time in the sun, playing sports with friends, I don't think about myself. The same is true when I'm not worrying about where my thoughts are going and why. If we can just stop staring at the abyss, maybe it will not want to stare back anymore!

Humans are complicated, in that they are both products of genetics and conditioning. Some of those factors are inalterable and deterministic in nature. However, the actual agency of a person, i.e. their ability to use their will and self-actualize, is not directly based on those factors! It is inherent to the way we deal with ourselves, both in how we handle our temperament and how we react to change. Detachment gives us back the power we thought we never had; it makes us feel able to experience joy, longing, sorrow, peace, frustration, love, because we're not letting ourselves become the feeling.

I do believe this has become a fairly long piece. I am interested to see what others might have to say about this topic, especially as it relates to mental health and your personal struggles. I am not at all suggesting that detachment is the solution to our problems. My only hope is to convey a philosophical methodology, a way of seeing and experiencing the world, that has worked for me.

Thank you to everyone who has read this far, and I wish you the best in everything you do!