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How to not be rude or mean

kiwi07864 October 10th, 2021

I have been struggling to not be rude/mean to people and I do this more so to people who are nicer to me. And I can't seem to be able to control it, any suggestions?

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annettes October 10th, 2021

Well I also seem to struggle with the same thing and I think its mostly because Im shy. I could come off as rude or mean but I don't think you purposely are mean or rude because your self aware :) and thats a start. I’d say to look at what u say or do and ask yourself or others whether or not it was mean. If it unintentionally was, try to think of what you could’ve said or done and next time do it differently. Maybe change tone of speech or word it differently. Try to be understanding,and remember you can change someones day with kind words. I always try to be more patient so I don’t get as frustrated.


2 replies
kiwi07864 OP October 10th, 2021

Yes I too am shy but sometimes I feel like there is something annoying me within me that is causing me to do this.

1 reply
annettes October 10th, 2021

I understand why you feel that way. Its not you. We can only try our best. Some of us are more extroverted and some of us more introverted. Its okay to be shy and theres nothing wrong with you! If you wanna overcome shyness,there is hope. It wont happen overnight. Try to put yourself in social situations or try things you may have once been uncomfortable with. I tried joining school clubs and starting conversations. im always here to talk x



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neonHuman1241 October 10th, 2021

Always try to smile before making a response, it gives you time to review your response. Talking back hurriedly will always lead to saying something you’ll wish you could take back

vlostwithyouv October 10th, 2021

We always hurt the ones we love and trust..

Bite your tongue, force yourself not to, because they are few and far between.

Save your anger for the outside world, or a stress ball.

soulsings October 10th, 2021

@kiwi07864 for me when angry thoughts arise, I try to be aware of them and head them off before they take over. One way I do that is take a deep breath and let it out and then start thinking how I can respond rationally and appropriately. I find not reacting means I stir up the hornet's nest less than before if you know what the analogy is saying.

MeaningfulSilence March 14th, 2022

@kiwi07864

Hi there, the fact you are here to try not to react negatively to people that are nice to you means that deep inside you are a caring person, which is lovely and i meant it!

What about trying to focus in the positive sensations you get from those nice people? If you are aware they are genuine with you maybe you can make a plan to react back nicely to them in steps, like once a day? Then it can be increased along time.

Could you maybe also open up with them to let them know your negative reactions, when they happen, do not mean that you aren't appreciating their care? Probably they also can help you with it and once you feel that you are loved for who you are maybe you won't feel the need to be ''on guard'' and in ''fighting-mode'' so often.

I really wish you things will go better and I want to thank you again for having posted this in such genuine way, I really think that people that are nice to you also sense your good side behind the negative reactions .