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Day 4: 25 Days - Dealing with difficult people during the holiday season

User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 December 4th, 2024


Many of us have experienced the scenario when you are on a holiday get-together and a person shows up that you don't feel comfortable with since they have been tough and unreasonably difficult to interact with. 

You can’t reason with an unreasonable person, but there are proven techniques to better manage dicey situations


Here are some suggestions:


  • Listen carefully to what someone says and avoid adding any story to it

  • Speak softly, avoid any aggressive tones

  • Be mindful of your body language, avoid inappropriate smiling

  • Stay calm, use deep breathing techniques if you feel anger arising

  • Do not return anger with anger

  • Try your best to understand what the person is really trying to say

  • Do not mentally prepare a counterargument

  • Know when to disengage by leaving the conversation by saying something like “Let’s talk about this later when we’re calm,” * and move on.



Participation question:

What helps you to deal with uncomfortable situations and difficult people?


Helpful Videos:

Dealing with difficult people 

Stoicism ▶ Dealing with Toxic People


Helpful Resources:

20 Expert Tactics for Dealing With Difficult People

* 5 Ways to deal with angry people


Seeking Help 

Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges. 

Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation 

https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/

To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1


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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 December 4th, 2024

@amiablePeace77 those are great tips ❤ it's just me here at xmas, and I'm nice enough for myself to get along with😁❤

4 replies
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 4th, 2024

@Tinywhisper11

7cups is open tiny! You can come here! Want to join the oldies in the 50+ room at 4 pm est. on Dec. 25? 😀 I will safe a seat for you!

3 replies
User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 December 4th, 2024

@amiablePeace77 awww thankyou 😁 unfortunately that's 11pm in UK time🙁 somedays I'm awake, like today😁 if I am awake I'll definitely join you😁❤ thankyou ❤❤ merry Christmas ❤ oh! And no need to save me a seat I come with my own♿♿😂😂😂

2 replies
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 6th, 2024

@Tinywhisper11

I will save a cookie for you! 🍪

1 reply
User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 December 6th, 2024

@amiablePeace77 😁 thanks ❤❤

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User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 December 4th, 2024

@amiablePeace77

I stay calm and try to think logically and with care.

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 6th, 2024

@purpleTree4652

Makes sense and prevents more problems 👍

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User Profile: cloudySummer
cloudySummer December 4th, 2024

Smile and wave...

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 6th, 2024

@cloudySummer

The power of a smile! 💪

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User Profile: gracefulFlute4407
gracefulFlute4407 December 5th, 2024

@amiablePeace77 Is it ,that during a joyous holiday gathering, some not so friendly people may be in attendance?

1 reply
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 6th, 2024

@gracefulFlute4407

Yes, we might go to a gathering and meet people who are challenging to us.

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User Profile: Zeraphim
Zeraphim December 5th, 2024

Say nothing, express no emotion, give them nothing to use. Short noncommittal answers, if they won't leave you alone.

2 replies
User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 OP December 6th, 2024

@Zeraphim

Give them nothing to use! 👍 

User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 December 6th, 2024

@Zeraphim

I like that Zeraphim.  I currently am working with someone who likes to create problems, so I was looking for good suggestions as to how to work with her.  I'm taking your advice of short, one-word answers.  Otherwise I don't talk to her.  

Thanks.

--PurpleTree

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