CLOSED to anymore questions feel free to read answers by Paola, a therapist of 7cups Online Therapy
Hi everyone!
Welcome to the second in a series of monthly events called "The Therapist's Office". This
is an AMA thread dedicated to your questions about therapy and how you
might benefit in coping with particular challenges you face in your
life. The therapist’s answers to your questions will follow some time
within a week after the thread is started, in this case by the 15th of
October. To subscribe, so you can follow this thread and the therapist's
answers, either post a question in this thread and/or hit the subscribe
button in the upper right to get alerts when new posts are made to this
thread.
We welcome your questions, but what type of questions should I ask? We welcome questions about therapy and coping skills for particular mental health challenges you face.
This month's therapist answering questions is Paola Giordani,MA, therapist of 7 Cups online therapy program. To learn more about them check out their profile.
Please avoid asking the therapist for specific advice like "should I date this guy after meeting him online?" You may ask the therapist for coping options with the particular mental health challenges you face and they can share options that you may want to consider, but this is not an advice column. It is more like a place to learn about how online therapy at 7 Cups could help you deal with life and the many challenges it presents.
If you have any customer service-related questions please email mailto:support@7cups.com as they cannot be answered in this thread. Finally, please avoid questions about medication and drugs as these are best suited to be answered by your physician, and anything not normally discussed in 7 Cups forums.
If you have a question about this thread, please feel free to PM me https://www.7cups.com/@soulsings
I am subscribed to this thread and eager to hear your questions and the therapist's answers.
Hi, I have a question. Is there a way to help or support someone that doesn't feel like they need it but I can see that they're struggling?
@coffeeSophie Thank your for posting such a caring question. Sometimes we see people we are about struggling and not realizing they need help or not wanting to search out help. If that person is an adult, we have to respect their wishes even if we don't fully agree. I believe that the best way to support someone is by being there. It doesn't mean you live for them or that you are available 24/7; what it means is that you encourage, support and reassure when that person asks it of you. Hopefully this person will realize at some point that they do need help and then seek it out.
@PaolaGiordaniMA
Hi thank you for being here to help us.
I would like to know why would a person who has had quite a lot of trauma things happen to them and people they know "flip" between "I acknowledge I had trauma etc, and i feel the affects thereof" to at times "yes things happened but it actually didn't really affect me that much, I'm actually lying when i say it messes with my head" and also depression gets me quite badly but then "flip" to people with depression etc are pathetic etc etc but then the depression will knock me flat again (no disrespect to people suffering with depression, I'm just trying to say it how it happens because it's in my head)
It's not like a person has 2 identities because they are fully aware of who they are etc, it's like you feel like you are lying when you talk about how it affects you at times, but then the real can "hit" you so to speak. Why does a person feel they are lying but if another person said they went through x y z you would say that had had trauma, but then for themselves they view it differently?
Does depression ever go away forever?
Thank you
@Avaray You are very much welcome! What you describes seems to be a person that has not really received therapy or that hasn't really worked through the traumatic situations they've gone through. Sometimes, can acknowledge the trauma but since they've not worked through it and have not really healed, they might "flip" from one response to another. Depression can be managed and can go into remission or get cured, but it depends a lot on the situation and the treatment the person gets, the time they get it. Every person experiences depression and trauma differently, since every situation is unique and is perceived differently. I think that counseling services and therapy are very important to help the person come to terms with the trauma, work through it and be able to heal. The person could benefit from an interdisciplinary approach to the situation by a group of professionals: a therapist, a social worker, a doctor and also requiere medication, but that's for a psychiatrist to determine.
@PaolaGiordaniMA
Thank you for your reply.
I suppose believing oneself would actually mean it happened and that it had a greater affect then willing to admit... Making it not real is a way of coping and if it's real then all the bad feelings that come with it have to be felt and that's very hard. No one wants to feel the bad stuff, but if you don't feel the bad you also don't feel the good, so you end up not feeling much and disconnect from the real of life.
Thank you
Hi. Thank you for this.
How do I stop sexualizing/fantasizing a condition which I personally have (not going to state it) and also something such as a Personality Disorder which I don't? It is really messy, since these things are legitimate issues and I don't want to do it but I just happen to be doing it. Therapy is not an option for me.
Thanks in advance.
@ouchhh thank you so much for posting the question. It's a complex situation that unfortunately cannot be solved quickly and for which there is no simple answer. There are a lot of unknown variables and situations which influence all that you are telling me on your post and would be needed to really be able to assess the situation and come up with a therapeutic plan to solve this. It would also requiere a full psychological and probably psychiatric assessment. I am very sorry to hear that therapy is not an option.
@PaolaGiordaniMA alright, thank you.
Dear Paula.
Thank you for your generousity to let us talk a little bit with you here.
I'll ask: Why all this suffering? I know we are like gold that have to be put through fire to take the mud away. And I know the trees has to be pruned to bear more fruit.
But I truely can say I don't like the fire or the pruning (being in bed/bench for 14 years now - ME/CFS - with very little energy).
Warm greetings to you - hoping that we all at 7Cup will have a blessed week.
From Helga.
@Helgafy Thank you for posting this question. I believe that many therapists throughout the years have come face to face with this question, many people in every profession and in every part of the world. I wish I knew the answer, but I don't. Nobody likes suffering, nobody wants to have a hard time, but still it happens everywhere all the time. I am sorry I can't really answer this question, I believe we must have faith and to keep on moving forward to make all our lives better and help each other.
Hi I’m looking for help in accessing long term counselling in the long run I.e. private counselling. I spoken to my mum and others about this and said to do my research and find it if they be a good fit. I’ve had discussions over the phone and been some what helpful but had still made me not decide on what to do. The more I’ve been talking to other counselliesthe more confused I’ve been. Also I don’t wanna be paying way to much for accessing help when I’m only wanting a session once or every so other day a week but I just don’t know what is a good number of sessions to have and how long and what’s worth. Also I don’t know what I should be looking out for in terms of the counsellor and there bio on experience qualifications etc. I’m just looking for advice or guidance what to do and if private counselling would be way forward to continue with my help I need for my anxiety and depression. Thanks
@TreaureSeekers3. Thank you for your question. Well, the advice you seek has a number of different answers that depend a lot on a few things: where you live, how old are you, if there's an insurance situation (whether they will pay or not), what kind of therapy and some others. It can be confusing searching for a therapist due to the number and different schools of thought and therapy. I can really understand what you are going through, the thing is that there's no one quick answer here. What I'd avise is to find a therapist you find yourself comfortable with, someone you can feel you can trust. My best wishes on your query!
Do you have any resources on emotional regulation. I'm really having difficulty managing my emotions even though I can notice them before it happens. I just can't stop a mental breakdown from happening
@EnolaElbasivni Thank you for your question! When emotions come out of whack, or when there's a threat of a mental breakdown, it's imperative to seek professional help as soon as possible. You'd need the aid of a trained psychologist/social worker/psychiatrist to determine if there is any risk to your well-being. That being said and hoping that that's not the case, here's a resource that might be informative https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/emotion-regulation.html still, it is much better to find help to get this under control.
Hello. I hope this is the right place to ask. I've been really frustrated with my mental healthy lately, and I'm worrying I might have OCD after doing a lot of research. Everyone around my area is booked for testing, and a couple months ago I had period of time where whatever it is wouldn't stop bugging me, advice?
@NotActuallyHereYet thank you so much for your question! Unfortunately, you tell me so little that there's nothing much that I can add except to ask for a referral from your primary doctor so that maybe you can be seen by a specialist, a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. I am very sorry that there's a long wait for testing. I hope you can get the help you need soon!
