CLOSED to anymore questions feel free to read answers by Paola, a therapist of 7cups Online Therapy

@amiablePeace77 Thank you, and you are very much welcome! It's a very interesting question. Generally people use information to calm their anxiety, so when information is not available or when there are no answers, anxiety tends to spike. When this happens, it's important to make peace with the fact that the information is unavailable, which is something we cannot control. Also, understanding the cause for the lack of information/answers can help with controlling anxiety. Many times in our lives we'd like to control things and situations, but unfortunately we can't always do that. A lot of people cope with anxiety doing yoga, meditation or mindfulness exercises, those can be a lot of help too.

@BreadBed Thank you very much for such an interesting question. Self-diagnosis can be the first step towards an improvement in mental health, although I do tend to discourage it because I believe that it is important to have someone professionally trained and licensed to do the diagnosis. That way, the person can get the exact kind of help needed. Regarding to whether it's weird or not to want to go back to old problems, it is my belief that there can be better ways of improving boredom that also allow you to grow. From my perspective, it would be really good to see if you can benefit from therapy so that you can achieve different goals and growths in your life.

@Mika512 hank you for the question, it is more common than we know to have fear of speaking in public and to worry about how people will see us. It is considered a form of anxiety that can range from slight nervousness to paralyzing fear and panic. Many people with this fear avoid public speaking situations altogether, or they suffer through them with shaking hands and a quavering voice. It could also be that you have a different kind of anxiety that addresses more to social situations than public speaking, but the good news for both situations is that they can be successfully treated. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a skills-based approach that can be a successful treatment for reducing this fear.

@justme1400 I am sorry to hear that you are going through this, it is very hard to feel this way specially since you can't control it or don't know what is going on. It might be that you have a certain condition that would need to be addressed by a trained and licensed professional. Flashbacks and shaking, all what you describe, seem to be pointing towards a condition that can be treated with success; I encourage you to find a therapist to help you heal this.

@KareemX A very interesting question, Kareem, thank you. The meaning and scope of therapy is something that is very complicated to explain on an internet post. It's not just about thoughts and conclusions, it is about how the inner world of the person is working, how they feel and why the feel that way. A trained and licensed therapist can see things that a person cannot see in themselves and can help understand situations and feeling from different perspectives and points of view. Therapy is a process where the person and the therapist work together to understand the inner world of the person in its complexity thus providing the person a greater comprehension of themselves and it allows also to heal from hurtful experiences.

@FrozenGhost Thank you for clearing that up for me. Here are some strategies that might help with self esteem issues:

1. Identify and challenge your negative beliefs: first you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself and then challenge them. Take notice of your thought about yourself, see how you talk to yourself. For example, you might find yourself thinking: "I'm not clever enough". When you do, look for evidence that contradicts those kinds of statements and write them down so you can remind yourself that they are not true.

2. Identify the positive about you. Make a list about the positive things about yourself, when you feel low or down, you can look back at these things to remind yourself.

Regarding social anxiety: list the different situations that cause the most discomfort, the ones you feel utterly unable to face which might include: interviewing for a new job, meeting with people, introducing yourself to people.When you begin to feel overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, try challenging those thoughts and replacing them ¡with more helpful ones through a technique called realistic thinking. You can try this by asking yourself some basic questions about the scenario that’s worrying you and providing honest, balanced answers.

And, I wouldn't give up on group therapy. I know you said you cannot do it, but the point of that therapy is exactly that: to help you and others with social anxiety and it is specifically tailored for people that feel the same way you do.

I should add I've been to therapy twice and both instances came to a natural close as we weren't really making any more progress

@Ro1172 Thank you, it's a very interesting question because as you say, we cannot eliminate every stressor in our lives. First of all, I'd suggest to find ways to work on your stress management. But if that is not the case, here are some other coping mechanisms that seem to work well: holding ice cubes in your hands, keeping a rubber band on your wrist — you can snap it against your wrist whenever you feel you need to, drawing red lines on your body, where you would otherwise self-harm, using exercise to release pressure and stress, writing, drawing or scribbling on paper with a red pen, doing meditation, such as practising relaxation or breathing technique, focusing your attention on something simple for some time — this may help your negative thoughts pass, talking with someone you trust. Sometimes you need to switch coping mechanisms and find out which one works best for a particular situation.

@gregariousPear3934 You are very welcome, thank you for posting a question. Therapy is a very personal process, very intimate and can sometimes feel overwhelming to share all the experiences and feelings. Don't regret opening up, a therapist is trained and understands all struggles, big or small and never judges a person. Nobody has to fix their issues on their own, company and help is very important. You most certainly are not a burden to your therapist. We, as therapists, enjoy the work we do and want to help the people that search us out. Would you be willing to tell her this and see why and how you are feeling this way? I'm pretty sure you'd get some important insight on this and that will allow you to feel much better with her (and probably in other relationships too). It' really hard, I know, but maybe you can try sharing this feeling so that you can work through it.

@versatileCircle4710 Hello, thank you for sharing with me. You seem to be having a complicated time right now. I am sorry that your family feels this way about therapy, but maybe talking to a listener on 7Cups could help a bit. Adolescence is a hard time in and of itself, and with all the things you have going on, it really must be complicated. Journaling could also be of help, writing things down, expressing thoughts and feelings on paper about the events in our lives can help us to move on and forward.

@aquaChestnut2238 Hi! Thank you for posting your question. Your friends might be right, but it would be important to get a confirmed diagnosis by a professional. While this seems complicated right now, maybe you could check out this site https://chadd.org/for-adults/overview/ which supports a variety of resources for ADDH. I really do hope this can be of help to you.