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sobriety is pain

MooRooster June 19th, 2020
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for one reason or another I'm in absolute agony simply existing for pretty much all of the time I'm not drunk or high. probably in part because of the drugs and alcohol in the first place. how do I get pleasure from absolutely anything other than mind altering substances? nothing is fun and I'm constantly hating myself for existing.

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SensiblePomegranate27 June 19th, 2020
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@MooRooster I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this, I'm also struggling with it myself. Right now I'm working on forgiving myself and not punishing myself for my past any longer. I'm trying new things, forcing myself even. Especially when I want to use.

lerienleneant June 20th, 2020
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@MooRooster

You were a teen in 2018 when you started and you are still a teen...at what age did you begin using substances?

MooRooster OP June 20th, 2020
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@WorldsInMySoul started drinking when I was 9 lol

lerienleneant June 20th, 2020
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@MooRooster

I am deeply sad for that, in my culture it was custom to give alcohol to children, people did not think...I am sorry you had to start so early...there is help out there if you want yet there is no definite cure from both substance abuses because there is no medical financial interest to realy reasearch permanent cures...financially it pays to have addicts and addict pacients who consume substances from which the state perceives taxes...

I wish you well...

MooRooster OP June 20th, 2020
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@WorldsInMySoul thanks mate

lerienleneant June 20th, 2020
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@MooRooster

We try to stick together...because we know...

Dreadfuldays June 25th, 2020
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I started when I was 14 in 2013. I met a 19 year old guy and we started dating and he introduced me to drugs. I can go clean for a year or two but go back to it and when I do I go hard. I smoked weed straight every day from 14-19 until I fell pregnant.

Now I can't smoke or I have a panic attack. Instead now I do coke, Xanax, oxy or tabs. I never get very high because I'm the sole care giving for my son but I do get a little high.