Locked In
I feel trapped, in heavy chains. imprisoned in my own body, even. the weight i carry is beyond extreme. im battling substance abuse in secret. hiding from friends, and family because im too ashamed to expose myself. i know i cause much chaos and instability in all relationships. i like to think i should just go away, as everyone would be better off without me. i want to seek treatment, and become sober, yet my head wants to stay using. i don’t know. i hurt my loved ones, i’m sure. the messes i created for others and myself. it’s a constant internal tug-a-war game in my head, between sobriety and self destruct.
May I suggest something? Take it, leave it, whatever...
Sit down and make a list with 2 columns. In 1 column list reasons why you like the substance. In another write down the reasons, you need to quit. Keep this somewhere you can reference it frequently. If you need to chat during/after doing this, let me know.
I'm rooting for you.
Thankyou for sharing I know and I am so sorry for your pain. Congratulations on your strength, don't stop fighting....youve got this!!! A day at a time and I promise eventually it will get easier. Hope is your friend and you are far from alone.