Apprenticeship - doubting a major decision

Hi Everyone, I hope you are having a lovely weekend! 😊

I am a degree apprentice (work+postgrad integrated) and I made a decision at the end of last year, but it is the end of January and I keep doubting myself... and I wondered if you could give me a bit of a push/ encouragement to just finally crack on and do it? Feel free to ignore the essay and just refer to the summary 😉.

Summary:

 - MArchD, architecture degree apprentice.

 - Discontented about the lack of support and mentorship in the workplace, despite contractual obligations, over the last 2 years.

 - Lack of interest from the side of the "mentor" - canceled/ignored meetings, dismissed concerns (ethical + over work projects & resourcing), mocked ideas, pushed into an unwanted, brain-numbing specialization, etc.

 - No support/ teaching, mostly just tasks with "do it" instead of direction/advice.

 - "Mentor" = team manager = a lying, gaslighting jerk.

 - Blocked development opportunities. Underpaid.

 - 5 employees, mostly seniors, left in 2 years. Very fresh team atm.

 - Decided to request a transfer to another office within the corporation.

 - Keep doubting and in freeze mode - how to get over myself and just crack on?

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Long version:

As mentioned, I am a degree apprentice (MArchD, architecture major) working for a corporation, so I have an integrated work-university program with assignments and projects for the university alongside normal work projects and practical learning. However, I have encountered some difficulties with my contracted "mentor"/team manager ever since I started 2 years ago.

I am not expecting anyone to be my mentor in the workplace and teach me practical skills anymore, even if it has been written down in the contract. Being given a new task and told "just do it" with no direction has become a norm and I am now proficient at teaching myself on the job.

What I do care about, however, is my development and the fact that I do not want to specialize at this stage of my career, especially in the sector I have been pushed into despite multiple requests for a change. I have no passion for developer residential design (essentially copy-paste) and I don't care for my team manager's narrow-mindedness towards more efficient ways of working/winning jobs and new technologies.

It has been 2 years of my ideas being trampled on or laughed at. Of project issues raised - ignored, ending in problems down the line. Of questions and concerns - dismissed or subtly blamed on me, like when I was told "no need to make a scene" after calmly asking for confirmation if the new long-term resource is going to be allocated to a major project I have been responsible for with almost no support (and struggled with since, you know, I am a student, not a lead designer).

It's been better in the last two weeks, but I keep feeling on edge, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. As my (now ex-) colleague said, some things will kill your soul if you let them. The guy left a couple of weeks ago and I feel it is time for me to move on as well.

And yet, I keep doubting myself. Office transfer request is not a small thing, even if I researched other teams/offices and know they would most probably need the trained resource. I also met my prospective teams before (without anyone knowing I wanted to move) and they all seemed like pleasant enough people. 

It would still involve discussion with the "big boss" of my current office (a pretty great guy and a family man), the HR, and... the "mentor"/team manager who is well-known for spreading negative gossip about the capabilities of all leavers... and is the one who would most probably have a hand in signing off my transfer (amongst other architecture managers).

So, I keep hesitating. I want to do it because I know that nothing will change if I don't, but, well, I am a bit nervous. Very nervous.

So, could you just tell me "Hey, alcre, you're overthinking again, just go and do it"?