Procrastination + feeling useless in a team
Hello, everyone. I just wanted to let this overwhelming feelings out of my chest, and hopefully I can feel better. The thing is, I'm having trouble with getting things done at university. Two weeks ago my school went on a strike, and also last week was our holliday vacation. Today I'm kind of going back to school (we're still on a strike, but I think I will need to get one of my big school projects completed one of these days. However, I have a partner for this creative project, and she's great. We haven't talked at all for the past two weeks. Even though I'm TRYING to get some work done, I somehow feel like I'm a parasite to her. She has high expectations of me but I feel kind of useless, I feel like I only radiate negativity and I'm afraid that I'm not as capable and worthy as she is. Uncertainty makes me very anxious because I can't handle having no deadlines, it's easy for me to get distracted and procrastinate. I really think I need some help but I'm too embarrassed and shy to tell my family/team partner. I'm afraid that I will strongly disappoint them.
Update: Hello, I just wanted to say I'm feeling a little better after eating breakfast, taking a shower and cleaning my room to calm music.
Hey there, thanks for sharing this here. I see that you’re feeling better, but I still want to offer some support if it would help you. First, let me just say that I’m sorry that your school situation has been so tough for you and your classmates recently. A lot of things happened out of your hands, but I’m sorry that it still affects your situation. That said, I do appreciate your willingness to thrive in spite of the circumstances - great job keeping your goal of completing the project! And about your involvement... to me, it sounds like you recognize your desire to help out your partner. You want to do well for your team, it seems. If that much is true, then I’d say that you’re not a bad teammate! Think of it like this: would a bad teammate care about doing more for their team? I think not! But you seem willing to help, and I think that’s the first step to being part of the team. But let’s get to the heart of your troubles: you feel like you’re not pulling your weight in the team, is that right? Well, we already said that you have the desire to help out... so then, you just need something to help out with! If you’re feeling up to it, you can try reaching out to your partner. Regardless of what your partner thinks about your past involvement, she’ll appreciate the help in working on the rest of the project. And, when she hears that you want to help, she’ll know what you can do. I know I’d feel that way - even I was doing a whole project by myself, my anger would soften when I realize that my partners want to help, whenever they get that sentiment. So, she’ll be willing to work with you, I think. In short, sorry for the long post! I just wanted to say I appreciate your willingness to help your partner, and I believe that that’s the first step to working in a team. And you’re already there! And as much as it might seem anxiety-inducing to ask for help (or to ask how you can help), I can guarantee that your dedication to improve will outshine your past performance. The good that you want to do will outweigh the inaction that weighs on your mind, I think! I hope I helped you just a bit, and please know that your entire community is here to support you as best as we can. We recognize your dedication to improve, and we want to help get you there if we can!
(Also, sorry for the second post, but I wanted to thank you for your considerate responses to other posts! Your compassion was not in vain - I saw your kind responses! Thank you for them!)
