Low motivation
I really need a kick up the backside. I'm a student and need to get a move on, but I end up afraid of the future, afraid I can't be what I want to be and end up backing away from it. It's too easy to sit back and procrastinate. I feel like I really suck.
It doesn't help that I'd love to have friends to chat to. About studies or life in general. My old best friend does her best to tell me all about how much of a great life she has with all her chums, and I'm stuck being introverted and work all day on my own as well. I'd just like someone to care about me in the same way I'd like to care about others. Just never seem to find anyone willing to actually be a friend.
I know the feeling. I moved away from all of my friends at the end of grade 12. All these peeps I had spent my entire childhood with suddenly were mad at me like it was my decision to move away (it wasn't). Anyways, if you want I can be your friend I'm always looking for awesome new friends :)
@Frozenrose3328
Hi there, that's incredibly lovely of you. I can relate in a way, I moved away very early on so was more "grown up" than my school friends. Now, they've all moved away and moved on and I'm back in my home area wondering what happened to the last 9 years. I'll add you, thank you!
We can definitely chat about studies if you want~ A lot of my friends are usually too busy with their own lives to chat with me for very long. I'm also trying to make it through school and even though I have an idea of what I want to do, it still scares me to think about actually going for it due to a fear of failure. Procrastination and perfectionism usually get me and keep me from being motivated, so you're not alone.
We just need to take it one day at a time. There's no need to rush to keep up with other people. We all go at our own pace. :)
@mimameid
Thank you, that's really lovely of you and you're right. It sounds as though you can relate a lot too which is a big relief. I'll add you :)
@mimameid
No idea how to message you, but lol
@ScottiesSpud
unfortunately, members cannot private message each other, but we can talk through the feed and in the forums still. You can tag me in your feed by putting an @ before my username :)
@ScootiesSpud, Much of what you are saying sounds like challenges that I've gone through and continue to go through. You describe being "afraid of the future, afraid [you] can't be what [you] want to be and end up backing away from it". This is a pattern that I've noticed in myself - I will be very excited about a new opportunity, be it a program I'm applying to, a meetup, anything really... And right when I'm really close to accomplishing it, I freak out! I worry that I'm going to do it wrong, or embarrass myself. If that sounds like what you're experiencing, then I have a few coping mechanisms that have helped me.
1- Try new things often. Small things that are low-risk. I've noticed that being courageous and doing these things builds up my confidence. The next time I'm faced with a big scary task, I can lean back on my small accomplishments to motivate me to get through.
2- Don't dwell on failure. Ok, easier said than done... but I try to notice when I'm overanalyzing some bad decision or misstep that I've made. Then, I find a way to forgive myself and let go. By accepting failures, I think we're better able to overcome our fear of future failures because we know that we can be kind to ourselves.
All that being said, I still struggle with getting motivated sometimes. I am fortunate to have made friends during my undergrad and grad studies who have helped support me along the way - and pushed me to keep going.
If you have the opportunity, perhaps talking with students in the same program as you could be a good start for making friends. Some studies involve group projects, and that can be a good starting point / ice breaker. Joining study groups and such can help too.
Best of luck :)
@delphin
Hi there, it definitely does sound similar. I can be very excited about something - the closer I get, the more I make excuses until I back out of it. Any suggestions would very appreciated and welcomed.
Unfortunately all the students in my "group" are a lot older and we are all flung around the country. We do email eachother, but despite me being 25 they are quite different. Unfortunately I life far from college and only need to do assignments now so no longer attend the building.
I know the feeling. I'm currently taking my post grad and my real friends are the ones in high school still. My current friends seem superficial and I feel like I can't open up my problems with them. I miss my HS friends and wish they lived closer. :(
Right now I'm struggling with med school and I feel like I have no right to complain since we're all experiencing the same things...
