To find a Specific Listener
Many times members are looking for a specific listener and it is tough to go through so many listener profiles specifically.
So members can post their requirements example the particular age range etc. here and the interested listeners can reply along with when they will be available to start the conversation.
Hello,
I'm turning 18 next month, introverted and struggle with some social anxieties. I'm looking for a listener at same age or older who is interested in regularly checking on me 'cause it is sometimes hard for me to contact one of my listeners. I often don't know what the exact problem is or how to explain it. It is easier for me if someone asks me questions and "guides" me...
Hiya! Well I'm 17, donnu if that's whatchu want but just thought I'd let you know, I'm here to listen to you(=
@NightVisions hey, I'm 18 now and they don't let me chat with you any more D:
@Jovan wow.. That sucks.. And I was wondering where you went. But hey, crap happens. Hope you're doing fine and that you find an awesome listener Cuz there are plenty (=
@NightVisions But the guy from support told me that he will try to reenable my teen listeners.. So maybe I'll be able to talk to you again ^^
@Jovan Ahh good thing!=D
If you would ever like to talk, please feel free to send me a message at any time!
thank you for your offer :) Fortunately I have currently a couple of different listeners and slowly there are too many... I can't handle too much people at the same time... But I'll talk to you when I need it 
@Jovan you can pm me any time
I have difficulty choosing listeners. I honestly think that listeners should not use pictures. It disrupts the feeling of anonymity a bit. This could feel especially threatening to people with social anxiety.
Hi @Peggy!! Do you feel uncomfortable around listeners who use their photographs as their profile picture?
I have had several people asking me if I am a robot or a real person, so putting my picture there helps me identify more (that's how I feel at least).
Personally I, when I want to talk to a listener for help, I choose them by the picture and of course the description. I want to know who am I talking with because I'm opening myself to them, you see?
Dear kind people, perhaps a feedback message could be submitted on your behalf to the site administrators?
I thought it would be a good idea if it was possible to search listeners based on the particular problem the members needed help with. I was going to suggest having badges and achievements become searchable, but considering the sheer number of volunteers, there would still be a huge number of listeners to choose from.
Though I'm not sure if that's already implemented. I've been busy with college so I've not had as much time to muck about the site as of late.
@Apocapus I love this idea;I've actually tried to click on the badges before.@smile2900 might be able to submit the age ranges as an idea, too. You know how to find the suggestion box in this thread! Cheers.
@Acopacs and @OliviaButler
I as well LOVE this idea. I think we would be able to make it easier for our members/guests trying to connect with a listener well fitted for them.
Thank you for your help Olivia. :)
I'm just hoping to do what I can to improve this site.
I just submitted the suggestion.
I pray that it gets used..
Me too, I really feel like the whole process may be a bit easier for our guests. ANd even faster. Thank you again for that idea!
You're welcome!
I'm just glad I could help.
Hello,
My husband and I are looking for a little counseling as we have six kids and it is just way to much for therapy any other way at this time. We are looking for someone that does relationship, family, and dealing with emotions. I can't express how grateful we are that this site exist also all the listeners for take time out their day to help others. We hope to hear from someone soon.. :)
Hi @Mrandmrshonaker!! You are going through a lot of stress at the moment, I hope you can soon connect to a good listener. Please do read our guides and forum posts for more help.
@Mrandmrshonaker-
I know how you feel. My husband and I have had problems as well were we need to talk to someone. Having kids makes it harder too. I'd be happy to listen to you if you ever want to talk. Just send me a message. Take Care.
@Mrandmrshonaker-
I'm 40 years old and I would love to help you and your husband. PM me and we can set up a time to talk.
I honestly have not had a single positive experience on this website so far. Every listener I've spoken to has sounded so uneducated and unhelpful that I honestly am left feeling even less likely wanting to continue life on this planet. I know I'm a downer and all I'm doing is sounding extremely negative... But I'm serious. Somebody please indicate to me that all life on this planet shouldn't just end right now because it has no hope of evolving to meet the most basic level of competency. I can't handle the stupidity anymore. I am so angry right now.
Hi@Peggy.I'm sorry you are feeling angry andhaven't had the experience you hoped for hereso far. I appreciate your honesty. I don't know what you are coping with specifically, but please bear in mind that 7 Cups 'listeners' are just that;volunteers who listen.
We arehereso you can have someone tovent to.We can also try to help you think through issues you are facing.Primarily, though, we'reabout giving you a space where you canclear your mind, feel heard, and come to your own conclusions with the support of someone who is empathetic. I'm sad if we've fallen short in that for you.
If you are seeking a level of compentency within the realm I described, please feel free to reach out to me, and I hope we can find a way to bemore helpful to youhere. However, if the mission of this site is not what you are seeking, please still feel free to contact me, and I hope we can find another resource that may meet your expectations.
Hi Peggy, I'm reallt sorry. I am angry too. This website is really just a club for indoctinated young adults to play around in rather than a place where people can come for help. I hope you find find the support you deserve elsewhere.
Hmm, do you think it's maybe a clash of outlooks? I find a lot of listeners here take the 'positivity' approach, or optimistically think everything can be fixed. That works for some, and if it does, it's great. I think it's good of the listeners to help those people, remember, they're doing the best they can, mostly. But for me, I just like to see the situation as it is, and can't stand having to lie to myself. My situation (with my disability) is not fine, it never will be, so, rather than being told 'I understand' or 'it'll be fine!', sometimes I'd rather just hear 'yeah, that sucks'. It's Ok for it to be that way. I can work with that. It doesn't have to be perfect sunshine 'n rainbows all the time, it's a bit unrealistic to expect it.
It's probably hard for some young listeners to really relate to the problems of older listeners, too. I think seperating the adults category into younger adults and older might be helpful. 18 is hardly an adult, really, someone that age is unlikely to have the same perspective as someone in their late 20s or older. It would also help if listeners would actually fill out their profiles themselves, rather than only modifying the default. If they don't do that, I find it hard to see them as caring much.
Can non-listeners message each other, btw, kind of more directly peer support I guess? I have a feeling I'd probably relate better to the kind of people optimists see as unrelentingly negative and I see as realists, lol, though was uncertain if I should try being as listener due to that - I don't do happy fluffy stuff, so maybe wouldn't be suitable.
I can certainly understand the frustration of someone not truly listening to you when you are pouring your heart out and how hurtful that can be. Nobody should be told how they should feel and what they need. The person who is in the situation knows best. That being said, sometimes it is helpful to hear from others about what options and resources they have available to them. It is also unhelpful as a listener to tell someone - it will get better, or you are fine....because the reality of it is, you don't know what is going to happen for that person. Maybe it will be, but maybe not. Telling a person what to think, how to feel or what to do is invalidating - and can make a person close down or maybe feel more hopeless than if those comments weren't made. That isn't to say that you can't be supportive, optimistic or offer hope in lieu of giving advise.
I sincerely hope that you are able to connect with a listener that can be helpful to you. As frustrating as it may be, just as each guest/member is different and has a different issue, listeners come from all walks of life and different experiences - its a matter of finding the right one to chat with that will be helpful in your situation.
Thanks
Last night was a pretty bad night for me. Sorry I exploded.
Here's some feedback that's actually constructive: Maybe users should have profiles like listeners do. I know there's the danger of that encouraging people to use 7cups as another social media site, but at the same time, it would enable users to name specific qualities they would appreciate in a listener.It may also enable listeners to look at the profile to see if there is any chance of them being able to identify with the user well enough to work with him or her.
I don't think member profiles is something that's going to happen here, or not in the near future, at least. However, a workaround might be going through the browse listeners tab, selecting someone (or a couple of people) and sending them a message describing and what you're looking for and expect from a listener. They could then see if they're a good fit for you. Do you think that could help a bit for now? @Peggy
I'm really struggling with no being able to find a listener anywhere near my age range. I'm 40, and it doesn't feel like most people on this site could relate to the problems of someone middle-aged. I bet there are "older" listeners, but I have no way to find them except for hope to see a Listener photo that looks close to my age. I really want to use this site, I really need it right now, but I find it hard to discuss my issues with someone half my age. Sigh I don't know what to do.
TryJTheElderRam. He's 41. Maybe he'll understand.
I'd be happy to chat with you Nevi. I am older than you ... Unfortunately, I'm only available on Saturday nights. But feel free to message me if you'd like to set up a time.
@nevi
I'm 40 years old and I would love to help you if you want to talk. I'd be happy to listen to any problems you have or if you just want to chat with someone. Take care and I hope to hear from you soon.