Problems with listeners/ What to do!
This isnt the first time this has happened but last night 4 seperate listeners went offline or stop responding midway through a chat. Not only was i just sat there waiting for them but i was so sick of repeating myself. I realise that thry have there own lives and something might unexpectedly come up but not even a quick announcement to leave. Its happened more times than when it hasnt and cant all be a internet problem or emergency.
I'm really sorry to hear that this has been happening to you, I think it's really wrong of them to do so. And a suggestion with that repeating yourself, maybe you can write a message that contains every thing you want your listener to know and instead of writing the story again every time you connect with a listener you can just send them that already written message?
I ended up just copying and pasting but i probably sounded disjointed. I even asked them to tell me they had to go but nope, still left
@Batty i'm a listener and i just wanted to say that 7 cups doesn't work on my PC at all and it doesn't work correctly on my phone i just can't replay :'(
This also happens to me.
Hey everyone, on behalf of the listeners that leave unannounced halfway through a conversation, I'd like toapologisefor that. I also want to thank you for understanding that listeners also need time off but it's rude and unacceptable for them to leave without warning. I hope that in the future, you are able to find listeners who will treat you with more respect.I know that this is a common problem among listeners and we're going to try and keep this bad trait as low as possible. In the meantime, best of luck, and I hope that you enjoy your time on this site.
- Leon
I'm sorry for your experience. However, you are NOT ALONE. I would say as a man it is especially difficult to talk with women who are usually afraid that you will start to like them. I've just resolved myself now to try to connect with male listeners. I encourage you to do the same in the future. Best wishes in the future as you try to connect with listeners on the site:)
Hi @MaraJade! I'm so sorry you had such awful experiences here, and I appreciate you being honest and doing an effort to try again.
It is not politely and acceptable for a listener to leave in the middle of a conversation without first notifying its guest or member. I do understand that there might be circumstances that might prevent a listener to let you know but feel free to to let us know when this happen so we can reach out to these listeners by giving them a coaching moment and prevent this behaviour from reoccuring.
I think its worth mentioning that since this seemed to be a problem that happened with various listeners in a short period of time, it might also be the effect of a glitch or bug..in which case you might want to contact desk support here.
I'll give you some ideas on how you can let us know about this:
1- Leave a written review. After you exchange 30 messages with your listener, you will be given the option to rate and review your listener. To review them, you click on the button with a star on itand write the space provided how the chat went. Reviews are screened by a team of Quality Mentors that will either approved the review so it can appear on bottom ofthe listener's profile (like this) or would take the appropriate action to ensure quality (send a coaching email to the listener so they can know what they need to work on, etc). These reviews are anonymous and will be in no way tied to your account :)
2-If you and the listener have not exchange enough messagesfor you to review them you can then use the block/ban button (which is the red one next to the star one). Then, you will be provided with some space to explain the reason of you "blocking/ reporting". Please do try to be detailed and honest in your message as we want this listener to have a chance to grow and develop their skills and also provide a safe place for everyone.
Lastly, if (and only if) the above options are no longer availablefor you to use (ex: the listener blocked you); please proceed to send an email to community@7cups.com and explain the situation and include your report for that listener's behavior.
I hope this helps!
I recently spoke to a listener who was very unhelpful, in fact made me feel worse. I opened up to her about a past incident and she went on to say that im being dishonest to my family by not telling them what happened, when she has no clue what my relationship with my family is like. I went on to reply saying she has made me feel worse and the response was 'i'm only telling the truth'. Now there's being honest and there's being nasty, she was nasty. I feel so let down and disappointed, she made me feel so small, like i'm in the wrong for feeling so bad about being assaulted. How is this allowed to happen? I now feel extremely low and pretty worthless to be honest.
I am honestly very sorry that this has happened to you, as no one deserves to be treated like that. As a listener, we're not supposed to jump to conclusion, and make inferences about the other person's life. It's because of this that we are not allowed to give advice; we do not know the member's life, and we will never live it, so it is unhelpful of us to intervene. That being said, please report the listener, if you're feeling as though she was negligent (which it sounds like she was). It sends a message to the administrators, and they look into it, and email the listener about it.
That being said, there is a huge volume of listeners on this site, which is both good and bad. It's good in the matter that for every listener that you come across that isn't good at relating with you personally, there will likely be one or two more amazing listeners that you connect with easily. Don't lose hope in the site; that member is not representative as us listeners as a whole. This is a safe place, and if you aren't feeling safe, we'll help you find a place where you can be safe and flourish. Again, please feel free to report the listener, and then check out ourBrowse Listeners tab.
With that, you'll be able to come across many listener's profiles. You'll be able to see how others rated them, and you'll see if they have any written reviews, giving you an idea of how they might listen, and if they're the right fit for you. It also helps to see if they have the "Verified Listener" badge, which signifies that they have taken a mock chat and passed our quality evaluation.
Again, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that; you didn't deserve it. But with all of this, I hope you find a listener that's amazing, and good for you. Have a lovely rest of your day. <3
I'm so sorry that you had this experience. It sounds like the listener tried to just force their opinions on you instead of really listening to you and trying to support you. To become a listener on here, there isn't much training they have to go through and we aren't really evaluated before taking any chats, so that's why there are these types of instances where a listener just doesn't meet requirements.
This is why there are the forms of evaluations that people above you have stated, like leaving reviews and possibly blocking them and sharing why. This will let them know as well as moderators know about the incident and hopefully get the issue fixed.
There are other listeners out there that will not treat you that way, I hope you know that and give 7 Cups another chance.
I don't like how I try to talk about one subject and they veer off to another subject that is related but something that I already dealt with and want to focus on the other problem I currently stated in the beginning of the conversation.
I'm sorry that this happened in your chats. Perhaps the listener had good intentions but was misguided. Don't forget that ultimately the listener is there FOR YOU! So if you feel like the chat isn't going how you want, let them know how to change that! All we want, as listeners is to best help you. :)
Don't be afraid to tell a listener their question is off track, or you don't want to answer it, or you'd rather talk about ____. It's not criticism to the listener, it's direction to help us help you!
I don't think having listeners helps with people whom are actually diagnosed with Depression and/or other mental health illnesses. Of course I'm only speaking for myself really, but I have had perfectly nice people listen to me whether they feel I'm "ill" or not. I find it offensive and rude to be treated in such a manner.
I was told rudely by a "listener" that she didn't have time for me because I was painting myself out to be helpless and in a perfectly fine situation.
This is unacceptable. Please remove this childish person from this site.
I know i might not have started this thread with the best intentions but I was incredibly frustrated but I never wanted this to start discouraging or potentially offending listeners. Please accept my apology. Thank you for all the advice about feedback and reporting and i encourage anyone who has a problem to do the same, its probably more direct and helpful than posting here. That said I hope youve all had a better experience with a listener who gets you more than the others.
@MaraJade
I appreciate you honesty and your willingness to poractively react to protect the quality of 7 cups. I understand that you decided to write this thread because of how you felt at that moment and I really admire that you took the appropriate channels to ensure this situation did not repeat itself and at the same time keep in mind that listeners are humans too that might make mistakes.
You have shown a great deal of compassion, empathy and maturity here. Thanks for being part of our wonderful community :)
You're right. I was also angry with how 1 of the listeners spoke to me but overall the others have been brilliant. I have spoke to some fantastic listeners and will not let the 1 bad experience put me off using 7 cups. I was going to come off here after that but last night-after being in a complete mess, i messaged a listener who really seemed to understand what ive been going through. She really listened and made me realise im not as alone as i sometimes think i am.
There doesnt seem to be many threads about people having good experiences or overcoming problems with listeners.
Sorry, posted before i finished. This could be a good idea so that members know that there are some listeners who a more adept with certain problems and so that listeners can get the recognition or self esteem most deserve. The amount of listeners who have helped me both on my listener and member account is amazing and while ive had bad experiences i know theres someone else who will better understand what im going through and ask the more appropriate questions.
@versatilePal31
Thank you so much for sharing your positive experience here too! I'm very happy to hear you found a good listener that fitted your needs and provided you the support you deserved. Its very nice to see how this thread has gone from somewhat negative to a hopeful note that even though we might all have bad chats we can still find a good one if we dare to try again!
You are amazing :)
I'm a listener and I also talk to listeners for help with my own issues. I have never gotten a bad review and as far as I know have been helpful. The only problem I got once is that I got an email once for not being like getting back to people in a timely manor I guess. Something you guys have to think about is sometimes when a listener is talking to you, we most likely aren't only just talking to you. We're trying to help other people to. I just felt bad, because when I'm online and I get 2 personal requests and I'm already talking to like 2 people, I mean I can't just ignore it. AnywaysI do agree with the whole there are some bad listeners and good listeners. Just wanted to say that there are good listeners out there and it is hard to keep up sometimes. Sorry for kinda rambling.
Yeah, that's true about listeners talking to more than one person at a time. Maybe if they mentioned why they don't respond immediately would clear up confusion. I think sometimes (and I've done this before) members feel like they're are being ignored or too troublesome when that's not the case.
Yes. I see what you are saying. I try to make sure to let the person know if I'm talking to others. I feel if I do tell them sometimes that makes them even more feel like a bother. They are never a bother it just takes me a bit longer to get to them. Becausewith some people that write really long message, it takes me longer to read them and come up with something to say. I try really hard not to upset anybody and if I do I just hope they tell me so I can try and clear up what I said if maybe there was something that I just didn't say right or whatnot. I just want to help people and try to bring people out of any darkness that they are in, if I can. I know How it feels.
