Hi All, used some times belt myself
Hi All, nice to meet everybody.
I am a divorced man and cannot see my daughters, I belt myself on my back to punish myself. This comes from my childhood. But dont blame anyone, I take responsibility.
I feel better after being punished. Does anyone have same experience?
@eoliva I punch myself on the face sometimes. But the thing is, I can only throw a few punches coz I am sensitive to pain. Then I feel ashamed of myself for not having the guts to even hurt myself.
Btw, what was the reason for your divorce?
Dear @Searcher47. I wish we didnt do that, but sometimes I am looking for the radical change and I take this acts of hitting my self very hard until I bleed from the back. I am ashamed as well but I have the strange relief that because I have been punished something good may happen to me later. This comes May be from religion, I respect all religions, Im a catholic and this religion is always about guilt and going to confession. And plus I was belted as a child, plus I am brown looking and seen to many movies about slavery and after 9/11 even though it had nothing to do with my poor country in SA , I feel targeted all the time and that kind of encourages me to belt my self. Although I still have my marbles in place enough to understand that my behavior comes from abuse, a messed up society, and questionable religious believes.
If you know of any therapy that can help me I appreciate the help.
