Hey all, I'm finally working towards recovery. (TW)

Hi, I'm Grey and I'm 17 going on 18 this summer. I've dealt with "official" SH since I was 11 but even as a kid I had self destructive behaviors and since my 16th birthday my SH issues have gotten so much worse, in terms of both severity and in terms of addiction.

I came to 7cups when I was 13(ish) and it helped me out a lot. I was clean for a few years and left 7cups entirely but now it's time for me to come back because things have worsened (to say the least) and I think I finally want to want to get better. I want to love life. I want to love waking up. I want to be able to be thankful for things and appreciate the good parts of life.

My SH has ranged from head-banging to burning to hitting to scratching to my most common issue, cutting. I've got scars lined down my right thigh and up my left arm. My mom tells herself I'm still clean (she found out when I was 12, pretended like giving me a sterm talking-to would fix everything, and then didn't let me go to therapy/get medication) despite me showing up with new scars all the time.

With college starting soon I really want to better myself. I don't want to take this really bad habit with me as I become an adult and don't have anyone close who can stop me or who can get me help if I need it. So I'm here, finally talking on this website and actually, honest-to-god trying to get better. ATM I am almost a month clean (if you can believe it!) but my seasonal depression gets me really hard every year.

Anyway, that's all for me I guess in terms of SH. I really hope to get to know some of you so we can all support one another and make it through this crazy life we're all stuck in. <3